We were having another lasagna creation. I was only doing the assembling this time and had two wonderful veggie helpers who took care of the onions, zucchini, and artichoke hearts. Oh, and tomatoes (Yay!) We had to pry Mendon from the computer for the prayer, for which we were not yet eating our food: the aforementioned lasagna and a pile of corn. We were discussing the wedding, the errand we were about to run for it, and invitations, etc. Blah. Maman asked for the salt and pepper, making a teasing comment about how it might be rude. Mendon and I had had a big "argument" earlier this week about whether or not we should have salt and pepper at the wedding. This means that we wanted to mock-bicker for fun and started our orneriness with a wink or two to establish our intentions. Mendon argued that it would be rude of our guests to put salt or pepper on the food; our cooking doesn't need any adjustments! I told her it certainly would not be (rude) and gladly picked up the salt and pepper in one hand and extended it over our heap of corn. And Maman sat there. She put her hands on the table and I leaned further over, assuming that the heap of corn is becoming problematic at the moment. She still wouldn't take them and I couldn't do much but extend them over the corn. I got mildly worried about the shakers as Maman sank further and further back from the table and into her chair, patting at the table; she was making a bit of a face at them. I looked over at Mendon, hoping that his view will reassure me that I didn't have a lethal arachnid crawling slowly to my fingers. He took the shakers from me and put them on the table. He actually salted Maman's corn aggitatedly for her, while explaining to me that "You're not supposed to pass the salt directly to someone; you have to set it down on the table; or else,.. your relationship... will get... salty?" When I realized the origin of the shaker issue, I responded, "Oh! Am I supposed to give you a penny now?"
Maman was pawing at the table. She wouldn't say anything like, "please put them down." She just made motions at the table and looked sheepishly irriated. It was so funny. I'm still laughing inside, it makes me think of all of the times I brought friends home who didn't know how to use things like forks and knives. Then she would stop and teach them how to hold their forks properly. I had friends who were anxious about eating at the dornbrook house because they were worried that they wouldn't live up to maman's standards. Now, maman thinks my friends are too old to correct. My response, "you're never too old to learn:)"
You know in all these years I never noticed this rule; I probably just passed items the way everyone else did. It was a long table after all. Perhaps it's because I almost never add salt to anything. I certainly hope Mama tasted the food before salting it- becuase we all know that that would be rude!
In my defense (not that anyone has offended me) . . .
I know it is an old wive's tale, but my mother used to say that if you handed the salt hand to hand, you would argue with that person. I don't really believe it, but I honor it to keep my mother's memory alive. She had a wonderful sense of humor, and always said it with a bit of a twinkle in her eye (I suppose that is what was trying to go across my face). I don't even think it is a matter of manners. And it really isn't a 'rule', just a quirk. Just my mother revisiting us. She really didn't know my children except Nathan.
And, Rae, to reassure you . . . I was salting my corn on the cob, which I cook without any salt, so I knew it was safe. Yes, I rarely add salt to anything.
Wow, I. . . wow. I guess I remember the quirk - now.
Heheheh. Welcome to the Dornbrook family! :-)
I've just been (vainly?) imagining some of the things we'll do when you and Mendon come to visit us. There's a Thursday evening youth class that Mr. Dunbar, one of the Universal House of Justice members, gives. New people always introduce themselves - I imagined Mendon standing up, introducing himself (perhaps saying a bit more than is necessary in a very endearing way), and then you standing up and saying "I'm Kristen Br---Dornbrook" - blushing a bit sheepishly, and explaining why you don't know your own name. :-)
Of course, here again I am assuming you'll take the name, and I know we've discussed it, but I can't even remember what you said in the past.
In any case, I am so super excited about coming home for a visit, coming to the wedding and then having you at our place afterward!!!
I remember once I went grocery shopping with Nae when he was in town. I starting signing my reciept as Dornbrook, scratched it out and put Hittinger. Nathan was teasing me and said "Oh no you didn't." (no emphasis added cause he said it like a normal human being).
Ocassionally now I sign my reciepts as R.T. Bean-my future pen name.
actually, mara, we were thinking of both changing our last name to Fojas.
I followed everything up until the part about the penny.
Even if I don't know how to hold a fork properly, in my household we pass the salt and pepper onto the table and not hand to hand. I do not know if there is a reason for this or if it just feels natural to do so. Perhaps it is because it is awkward to take both shakers from someone's hand, and of course it is not proper to pass one without the other.
Sorry Hayley, I actually suggested to Kristen that she edit out the sentence that explained the penny because the people who would be reading this (my family) would mostly be in on the inside joke. Here's how this is funny. I made my "salty relationship" comment as a joke about giving sharp objects as gifts. There is another adage that you don't give knives (or scissors) as gifts because then you will sever the relationship. So, when you give the gift of a knife you include a penny. That way you are actually giving your friend a gift of a penny and then they buy the scissors (or knife or sword or whatever) from you for a penny. To make everything funnier, my grandmother and mother both intentionally mix their metaphors (my grandmother in the past tense) which is what kristen and I were both doing. It's really funny if all of what I just wrote only were to take you a moment to process, however, I'm sure that my rather dry and elongated comment sucked any remaining humor from the post.
I enjoyed the story even without knowing half of the inside jokes, so don't worry about sapping the humor :) Thanks for the clarification, although I would likely agree that editing out an explanation would make the post better for those in the know.
I don't remember passing the salt anyway except hand to hand. Usually between me and Mara. Oddly, we did argue. Huh.
I now have a salt box as well as a grinder. I leave the grinder out for folks who want gris sal de mer and put bleached sea salt flakes in the box. But both of them get passed from person to person.