April 2008 Archives

I have recently decided that it's time to apply to grad school. I want to go back. I miss my studies, miss life as a pauper (although, why I feel like I don't have it now seems to me to be the result of some grand illusion). Moreover, the ones I miss the hardest, the ones I want to return to the most are my music studies. Goodness I miss violin study. Plus, I feel like I've let everything settle from my undergraduate studies, and like I might now be able to handle the hours and hours and hours in the practice room that I'll need to be able to accomplish in grad school. So, I'm starting to research.

Yet, as I research, I am also working in a university admissions department and my, oh my, is this an intimidating environment for a future applicant! I feel as if I will never, ever be good enough. That if I were good enough, I would already be playing with our local and world-class symphony. I am trying to keep my ego together, my sense of self-esteem, but it is taking a lot of positive self-talk right now.

So, regardless, I imagine that I may have some more to say about this in the future, but exposing my *freak out* about the issue seems to suffice for the moment.

Also, Mendon and I are going to see the Yarn Harlot tonight! It will be fun, surely. She was a favorite of Maman's. :)

Knitting post.

My knitting life has been full-steam ahead practically since I started. This is not to say that the results have always been great (ha. haha.), but there has always been drive and pleasure in the process. I liked it. A lot.

Somewhere around Thanksgiving, my knitting train started a slow and steady derailing. I finished my white, purple-flecked socks in December; by the end of the month, I'd cranked out a small dolly-angel for a Christmas present for my Grandma, which was finished solely because of the holiday- I lost motivation right after her head and belly were completed; I'd started Nathan's socks... but those have YET TO BE FINISHED (fyi: it's April and I rarely need more than a month for a pair of socks); and there's been this lovely shawl pattern on which I've clicked away a few rows here and there. The knitting train was grinding to a hault.. things weren't getting finished... I could give or take the knitting time... without Maman to knit with, it kind of started to suck.

These are the fruits of my labor since August:

That is, my friends, my big ol' pot of depression soup. Not to say necessarily that I'm depressed, but no wonder I was starting to hate knitting. The only color in my repertoire was khaki green and khaki... and those were linen so they made my hands ache in a deep and exhausting sort of way.

This has been my response to the problem. Color work and holy crap my sock yarn is of the Caribbean.

Interestingly, while I was meditating on my own gray scale pot of depression soup, I realized that I had found my husband's recipe for le soup:
Mendon's solution

C'est tout!