I have recently decided that it's time to apply to grad school. I want to go back. I miss my studies, miss life as a pauper (although, why I feel like I don't have it now seems to me to be the result of some grand illusion). Moreover, the ones I miss the hardest, the ones I want to return to the most are my music studies. Goodness I miss violin study. Plus, I feel like I've let everything settle from my undergraduate studies, and like I might now be able to handle the hours and hours and hours in the practice room that I'll need to be able to accomplish in grad school. So, I'm starting to research.
Yet, as I research, I am also working in a university admissions department and my, oh my, is this an intimidating environment for a future applicant! I feel as if I will never, ever be good enough. That if I were good enough, I would already be playing with our local and world-class symphony. I am trying to keep my ego together, my sense of self-esteem, but it is taking a lot of positive self-talk right now.
So, regardless, I imagine that I may have some more to say about this in the future, but exposing my *freak out* about the issue seems to suffice for the moment.
Also, Mendon and I are going to see the Yarn Harlot tonight! It will be fun, surely. She was a favorite of Maman's. :)
You are so talented in many things that I imagine it can be intimidating trying to pin yourself down to doing just one thing well.
So once you have decided on your dream to fulfill yourself for life, pursue that one. If it is music, so be it. Is hankering for monumental hours of violin practice a sign that that is it?
Wow, now there's a question...good luck on your deciding process.e- love and e-hugs to you.