Mendon has mentioned it on his blog. Malaria. Kristen has been feeling ill for a few days now, symptoms including migraines, dizziness, exhaustion, body/joint aches, and fever/chills, and these symptoms have elicited the word in hushed tones from those who don't have the ability to do blood tests. To remedy it all, I asked Srini to take me to a doctor today.
He told me that he would take me to see his sister-in-law. I had met her the previous day and she seems like a great woman; I was certain that she would be a relief with the compassion that she has. Well, Srini, after hearing a few of the hushed-rounds of the m-word decides that I'm being a paranoid foreigner. His sister, as it turns out, is a homeopathic doctor, who commented little on the aforementioned symptoms, or more importantly on their cause. I get there and explain how I just feel awful. She asks about the heat. I say, it's fine; I've been here for 5 weeks now. She asks about my hunger. I say, it's fine, unchanged. She asks about my thirst. I say, it's fine, I'm drinking plenty. She asks about my thirst some more and hints at dehydration so I volunteer that my urine is clear (I know, you were dying to know. But she wasn't). She continues to pursue this dehydration route and that's the end of it. No care of fever, aches, etc. She concludes that I'm just dehydrated (and I'm not) and that I'm suffering from heat stroke (which hits me as odd, seeing that I've been here for 5 weeks and been unaffected thus far, and already been in far worse heat/conditions). So, she hands me a collection of packets of some sweet, unknown powder, and tells me to take it every 4 hours. Great.
And Srini has been pumping me full of the most disgusting Indian herbal remedies talking the whole time about the conspiracy in the US, in which the doctors are preventing the spread of homeopathic medicine for their own financial gain. (They've also created a malaria-paranoia for their bank accounts). So, I'm stuck, because Srini will be ragingly pissed if I disregard him and go to a doctor/hospital, but at the same time Srini's not as important as my health, or life, for that matter. I'm unsure what to do and unable to think clearly (anyone who is starting to accuse me of anything, remember what the flu feels like and how you just need to be taken care of, because you just can't do anything else). I've decided (and Brian has helped me) that if I get any worse, I'll go to a hospital tonight. Otherwise, Brian will intervene (so it's not just me seeming whiny) and let Srini know that I really need to get to a doctor and that he's concerned for me. I realize how unlikely it is that I have malaria, but at the same time, I realize how stupid it is to just pretend that such things don't exist (as Srini is doing; he told me that not only does Chennai not have malaria, but it doesn't have mosquitoes, either. Uh-huh). So that's where I am. I'm not feeling bad enough to offend him quite yet, but I'm prepared to do so if I need to. I'm interested to see how this story ends.
But, this brings me to comment on India, which is shrouded in superstition. Srini's sis-in-law put me on a strict diet, none of which sounds like it would actually be healthy for me (She recommended plain food, ie. empty carbs). Mangoes and bananas are supposedly hard to digest, and thus, I can't eat them. (I did regardless). I can't take a shower! Because that will supposedly get rid of my fever, or something. I don't know. All of these "can'ts" are just the mandates that I receive. It doesn't mean that I follow them. OH! And I certainly can't make decisions for myself. This has less to do with my health than it does with with rampant sexism that exists here. If I am ever in the company of a man and we are asked a question, only his answer matters. When I tell Srini that I need to see a doctor, he has the right to veto my concern. When I request something, it often takes a man reiterating my desire before it will be heard. When I go to speak, I am only listened to if I force someone to listen. When I am listened to, my opinion never matters and I am an unreliable source when it comes to fact. I am rarely addressed in intellectual conversations. Brian has actually been amazed because he has pulled conversations towards topics in which I am knowledgable (and he deserves so much praise for that consideration), and I am either prevented from entering the conversation or my contribution is completely disregarded. It is remarkable to watch. I'm still enraged and baffled. I'm trying to keep in mind that people are only hurting themselves by disregarding my skills, knowledge, and contributions, but it's hard when I am so frustrated. Oh well. Updates on the m-word soon. I'm managing fine, but I'm impatient when it comes to this.
Addendum: I completely forgot to mention something. Today, at the homeopathic clinic, I was having my temperature taken. Without the santizing of the US, the thermometer is passed from pit to pit, with a wash in between. So, with the thermometer in my arm pit, I continue to try to focus my woozy mind. The thermometer, of course, slips out, bounces out of my hand, almost stays in the assistant's hand, but manages to reach its final destination: the hard, tile floor. It breaks, of course, and mercury rolls ev-ry-where. In the homeopathic office. And, of all of the useful things that could have come from this excursion, I could have at least found out whether or not I have a fever, if so, how high. This, to me, is ridiculously funny. (But, I'm still woozy, so everything is a little bit funny).
It is so fascinating to watch (from afar) the workings of another culture. Much more frustrating than fascinating when it is in your face. I hope you feel better soon.
Here's what I figure. Drink yourself silly in water. Granted, you may not be dehydrated, but I have a wee bit of experience in this as water seems to be the universal remedy here at our health clinic, too. So, I have in actuality become addicted to water - because I drink SOOO much of it each day. And retrospectively, I didn't drink enough water my first summer, even though I thought I was.
But anyway, if you're drinking large amounts of water, and you're still sick (and maybe Brian vouches for this as well?), then you can in clear conscious say "water isn't working". At least, that's my approach.
I am going to light Srini up next semester. If this is Malaria, he doesn't even know what he has coming. This is ridiculous I don't care what Srini says if you aren't feeling better in the slightest (or are but only slightly) get your butt down to a REAL DOCTOR. I'm so livid I'm about to start cursing. This is the health of my intended that we're talking about.
Disrespecting you is one thing, not taking your health seriously is another. If you're having trouble at all, CALL TIM. The Baha'is do not screw around when it comes to health!
I love you. Stay well.
Mara, Mendon,
About Baha'is and health: I think the most important thing is that the Baha'is embrace science and thus healthcare as well. Srini seems more interested in conspiracy and superstition, which is where my problem is arising. More soon.
Mendon: B-R-E-A-T-H
Your reaction - all hellfire and damnation - does little good, and isn't going to make Kristen feel better. This is not supportive behavior. As you are not near Kristen, the best thing you can do for her is let her know that she can call on you at any time to talk - for loving and caring moral support; distracting her if necessary from how she feels physcially.
Don't get wrapped up in how the healthcare "system" is treating her. She already has that to contend with, what she needs is a cushion from that. Let her rant to you about the system - and listen. Just listen. And then give her all the tender loving care you can muster via phone. Believe in her ability to handle the situation, convey that to her, and all will be well. Your prayers for her healing will be of great assistance.
Of course, this is just my opinion, but it's what I'd want if I were ill.
I'm laughing. : )
Thank you, Mara, for saying so well and so positively what I was thinking. Only I was thinking more on the lines of hellfire and damnation of the Mensch's hellfire and damnation. You were much more eloquent and (I hope) effective.
Pooh! I believe in Kristen's capacity to fight the system while healthy. I don't believe in stronger people's abilities to fight the system while succmbing to a potentially lethal disease. The amount of white people who died in Gambia simply because they were either denied access to a doctor (via bogus homeopaths) or weren't taken to a doctor because they were living in a culture of superstition was just too high (about one every six weeks). Please understand that Srini's response to "I think I have malaria," is beyond unacceptable in my eyes. Likewise, malaria doesn't necessarily take as long as you might think to migrate to the brain or spine. Goodness knows how many africans and Indians are killed yearly because they are taken to a homeopath instead of a real doctor (or just given the chloroquine treatment which is what is really necessary). If being upset motivates Kristen to go to the doctor while she is still marginally healthy then that makes me happy. Otherwise, the camel that I'm trusting to not run away is tied down by Miami students and false superstition. That really worries me.
Perhaps I'm over reacting but the last person who I watched get malaria was Helen and it almost killed her, twice. In fact, I remember going to bed one night so scared for her that I said several more hours of prayers than I usually did, most of them to prepare me to lose a close friend.
Mendon, you were right to be concerned about the company to which you were trusting your camel. Or, your fiancee. Hehe. Brian didn't come through yesterday saying that I needed to get to a real doc and Srini just kept doing the same pestering/mothering routine that only enraged me. I took a walk late morning to get a few things done and blow off some steam. I was actually able to go to the doc without Srini knowing about it and I think I may keep it that way for now. I'd say all's well that ends well, but we're not done yet. Eesh.