"In all matter, take your spouse into consideration. Always try to see things through the eyes of the other."
This is the advice my mother gave us at our wedding shower. I recently looked over the 3 x 5 card notes from that day, and realized that this is the one I forget most frequently. It's the one I have the most trouble with.
I was chatting with my sister-in-law Kristen the other day and had another one of those moments. She and I were discussing my mother's somewhat imminent passing and some of what Kristen and Mendon are going through as a result. Kristen expressed concern that Mendon would expect her to "be there for him" - a solid rock in his time of need. She, validly, pointed out that she'd be grieving as well. Which is when it dawned on me that I expected the exact same thing of Mark, even though he will, in all probability, be grieving as well. D'oh.
So, in advance, I'm asking all of you (who are not related to me) to be there for us*. And thank you, Kristen, for helping me realize this important need.
*If you don't know what to do, I have learned the overwhelming importance of food at such times. So, if you're in the area, bring us food.
i hope i will aaaaaaaaaallways be for you (no words missing), my maramoush (and mark). at this point i suspect i'll be sending you spiritual and electronic food from where we'll be, relative to each other.
love love. from leila
I wrote that? Wow! Sometimes I amaze myself. Good advice, by the way. I wish I had thought of it. And before you get too grieve-y, just reminding you that I am very much alive and doing well. I don't mean to frustrate you, but . . . Let's live to the fullest while we can. See you soon. But don't be too surprised if you get here and don't see me too much because I am off doing something! I plan to be busy. I have plans!
Food is always good, expecially when shared with good friends.
Maman, I'm not too grieve-y. I'm your daughter, so I am P_L_A_N_N_I_N_G!!! And, uh, can I be included in some of those plans, please?
I'll do my best. Some of the plans are already made, so not those, but after that, sure. The weirdest thing will be that I plan on keeping working for as long as I can. I just don't really know how long long is. I have an appointment with the oncologist on my birthday. Will you come with me an Daddy? We need to prepare questions for him. I hope he scheduled a long appointment for me. Beyond that I have nothing, except work. And maybe buying a car.
Certainly I will come with you to your appointment. I'll even come with you to the fabric store if you ask me to. ;-)
No, not the fabric store. Maybe the yarn store. Maybe. I really see very little need for me to be buying anything - at all. Maybe some food. Maybe.