Okay, I was planning on doing it, but Mendon was the impetus (a.k.a. kick in the petarkus).
I've updated my YouTube site. So, just roll your mouse on over to the right side of the screen, find "My YouTube", click on it, and enjoy! There are 4 new videos, some of which are already a few months old, but you know, whatever.
Can you tell, of late, that I'm lacking a bit of direction, deep thought ... or, you know, much of anything interesting to say? Okay, okay, that's assuming I ever had any of that in the first place.
Our family is changing. I imagine I'm not the only one who senses that. Instead of my mother being connected to us and up-to-date on all of our lives, we are trying to do that all ourselves. It certainly isn't that our mother stood in the way, but she was the only one doing that much work to stay in touch with all of us, I think. Not to say that we were all shabby about - Nathan set up these blogs, Rae is great at writing letters and sending little gifts, Mendon would call. We all made efforts, but now, well now we just simply all do a lot more legwork. It is as if our very lives depended upon it. At least, that's how I feel. I feel as if, even for one minute, I become disconnected from one of my siblings or my father, that something awful will happen.
Shortly after my father headed home on Friday morning, I went out for something in the same direction that he had gone, and I had horrible visions of finding his car on the highway. I tried to wait patiently for his phone call to tell me he had returned home safely.
I sometimes think about one of us dying, or even being told about some serious illness we'll have to deal with, and how that would effect our family right now. I cringe.
I saw greeting cards for "grandparents day" - hello greeting card holiday! - except, I didn't think "how phony", I thought, wow, if I really wanted to wound my father, I'd send him one of those, 'cause, wow, doesn't that hurt? Boo. Yuck.
On the bright side, I'm looking into joining a motherless daughters support group at a hospice here in town. At this point, it sort of feels like another chore, but I suspect it may be just what I need. I know my mother would recommend it to me.
Blargh.
By the way, Papa, Liam now runs to the door with his big bubble makers and says, "bubbles? bubbles? out? out?" And he'll randomly say, "Goon-dah. Goon-dah" (his version of "Goompah)
