Fraud! Fraud!
I feel like the biggest fraud going -- and pretty soon, the world will find out that I have been duping them.
People have been showering me with gifts, books, candy, flowers, cards and prayers. In just 24 hours I (supposedly) am scheduled for a major surgery. The reason I say 'supposedly' is that I was told to call after 3 pm to find out the hour of my surgery. Well, there was nothing in the instructions about 'before 5 pm.' So, when I called at 5:15, it was too late and now I have to wait until after 3 pm today. As a result, I sort of feel like I am not really having this surgery. Which reinforces the whole fraud feeling.
And then there is the fact that I feel fine! Okay, to be honest, I just feel darn good. And Rachael came in Friday night, which made me feel even better. Then Mara came in last night. We are the only two up at the moment; she is making tea for us right now. How much better can it get? Well, Nathan is coming in on Wednesday -- or so.
Now, I did feel fine, but when I think of Nathan coming and staying for 2 months, I know I must be sick! This is big stuff. But, I'm fine, I really am. The surgeon is going to open me up and say, 'Well, I don't know what we saw on the CT scan, but it isn't there now.'
Anyway, it is embarrassing to be receiving all these consoluation gifts . . . when there is nothing to be consolded about. I know, it sounds as though I protest too much. But I really do feel healthy, whole and well. And I am.
Comments
You feel like a fraud? My professors (some of them anyway) are bending over backward for me. It's a little creepy. On top of that, I just got two letters from the honors department, they're going to pay me $310 for my birthday and Louhelen. How fraudulent is that?
Posted by: Mendon | November 7, 2005 12:31 AM