Funny thing happened on my way to . . .
I was in the yard, pulling weeds and such. Ray and Lynn pulled in. They haven't lived in the house for almost four years now, but Ray stops by daily to get his mail. He also maintains the house so it doesn't look abandoned. Ususally Lynn isn't with him. I went over to be neighborly and offer a new maple seedling to begin to grow in to the spot that will be left behind by his silver maple (which I was hinting is getting old and will need to come down soon so it doesn't fall on his house). He said he needed to think about it and consult Fred.
While he was off collecting the mail, Lynn turned to me and asked if I had any grandchildren yet. I gave her the look that sort of says, no, my children haven't figured it out yet. She went on to ennumerate that she had 15 grandchildren, 4 great grands and one more on the way. I mentally recoiled. I must admit, the thoughts that ran through my mind were on the order of "Is my life to be summed up in the number of children and grandchildren and great grand children I have spawned?"
Now, don't get me wrong. I enjoyed my children immensely. They were my purpose and greatest joy. I still find great joy in their company and when they share their lives with me. I am looking forward to grandchildren and am sure that I will enjoy them, or so I am told by my friends who have achieved that status. But, I do hope that my life will be summarized by more than a list of progeny.
Others have asked me this question before, but I have not had the same reaction before. I wonder if this is some sort of a turning point or if I was just reacting to Lynn's pride and joy. Funny how an everyday occurance can make you stop and look at things differently.
Comments
I have some ginormous bucg bites from picking peas and digging up my largey unsuccessful garlic plants. These bites are adding insult to injury as most of them rest on top of my sunburned skin. While Eric and I were in RI we went to the beach and got a bit burnt.
People aske when we are gonna have kids. Now if they ask you you can tell them not for at least three years, and it will probably be longer than that. When I'm 30 sounds good to me.
Posted by: Rae | June 15, 2005 9:21 PM
And as "when I'm 30" sounds good to me, too, you can say "in the very near future".
Of course, I turn 30 in 6 months (and 8 days) - I may not make that deadline. In fact, "when I'm 28" sounds good to me too. Oops.
Posted by: Mara | June 16, 2005 4:49 AM
Well, you could use the 'Dear Abby' response: "Why do you want to know?" After all, what business is it of theirs? You have the right to make these decisions on your own. It is between you and your husband. Time for others to MYOB. Am I being hypocritical? I hope not. Yes, I look forward to grandchildren. But when and if you present them to me is your decision, not mine. If it happens, great. If not, so be it. And I really don't want anyone to have children because they think I want grandchildren.
Posted by: Ma | June 16, 2005 10:38 AM
Ma,
don't worry- we do have some sense of self will! I know you didn't mean it that way. I don't think Mara or I feel pressured by you- so don't fret.
Posted by: Rae | June 16, 2005 11:48 AM
No pressure.I am looking forward to you guys being parents tho'. Somehow I think of you as coming full cycle by being a parent. a birth- life kinda thing.plus I hope I will be a perfect grampa.
Posted by: papa | June 16, 2005 8:58 PM
Hmm. I think I might know where I get the "setting an impossible standard" thing from!
Posted by: Mara | June 17, 2005 1:23 AM