President's Day
Lakeland is closed today in honor of President's Day. Traditionally, this day has been the day the kids and I would decorate for Ayyam'i'Ha. No particular reason other than it falls about a week or so before the holiday. It gave us all something to do on an otherwise pointless day off. I mean, what do other people do with that holiday? Drag their kids to the Prez Day Sales?
So, here I am, trying to package up gifts accumulated over the past few months to send as Ayyam'i'Ha packages . . . and I can't do it. I am fuming and on the edge of tears. Daddy has gone to visit Gramma, having no idea of the storm brewing behind my eyes.
And why am I mad, at what? Mad at the kids for not being available (or interested) in 'celebrating' with me? Mad at my children for being successful and independent of me? I thought that was my goal as a mother.
Was I better at fostering their independence than at showing love? I think I am mostly mad at myself . . . for failing to connect with my children. I don't have good packages to put together for them; they are just a mishmash of this and that. No real thought, no wrapping. Just. "Oh, Soandso might like this."
And a large dose of feeling rather sorry for myself. And baffled. Baffled at how this came to be. How I didn't foresee it coming.
Now, to make matters worse, the mail comes. In it is a big package from Rae. Our Ayyam'i'Ha gifts, no doubt. See, it can be done. (just not by me.)
Comments
Err...last time I checked that's called being human. Rae is super great at getting Ayyam'i'ha gifts out (We just got ours, Rae - craziness that you knew we wanted it ... hahahaha!).
I'm still trying to figure Ayyam'i'ha out. I mean, I really, really love Ayyam'i'ha and want to celebrate it. With you. I find it kind of hard to do it from here, though. And I guess I figure you'll 'understand'. (how many 'great gifts from Israel' exist? and if they're not specifically from Israel - should I bother? and my budget is, oh, non-existent - plus, when I come home next, I'll bring gifts then, so...more gifts from more non-existent funds...)
What's really bizarre is that people don't do much here for Ayyam'i'ha. And that hurts my heart - such a wonderful holiday! So, I've decorated a little, and then Mark and I discussed ways to be of service to others. We've made arrangements to come over and make dinner for Mae & Wolfgang (w/ a movie requested, too :-)), and to babysit for another neighbor... so we'll see. I don't think Mark and I will be exchanging gifts this year ... I suppose I'll get better about when kids come around?
Posted by: Mara | February 20, 2005 4:52 AM
The gifts. Well, I sort of don't really care about the gifts so much. I think it is the coming together. And delighting each other -- whatever that means and however that manifests itself. I don't know. I really, really don't know. I just know what we used to have/do and that the world has changed and I have to figure out something new and it makes me anxious that I will mess up and do the 'wrong' thing. And if you want to get me something from Israel, well, a bottle of whole nutmegs would be lovely, but don't mail them. There is no rush. I still have one, but only one. I know, it takes most people a life time to use up one nutmeg. Not to worry, it will take me several years. I'm thinking ahead.
Posted by: Nannie | February 20, 2005 1:56 PM
And the only reason that you know Ayyam'i'Ha as you do is because we made it up! So you have the choice to either continue what you grew up with and/or to invent your own. I had no pattern to go by. I did have other creative women in the community who were interested in making it a fun holiday for our community and families. We shared ideas and borrowed ideas and made it fun. I'm so glad they were there to help me because I don't think I could have done it alone. Not in the same way.
Posted by: Nannie | February 23, 2005 10:42 AM
Mara, I am glad you like it..it's not actually used, but I opened it cause you told me that you and or people accepting the packages in Israel have to pay about what the package is actually worth...So I figured I'd make it cheaper to recieve. Let me know if it is good. I took a chance and bought it based on reviews.
Posted by: Rae | February 24, 2005 11:27 AM
Actually...I baught something for You Ma, like...a little less than a year ago and I completely forgot to mail it! It's a little fragile anyhow, so perhaps I'll drive it over some time. Also, I have some barbeque sauce I baught for daddy last year for father's day...it's still here!
Posted by: Rae | February 24, 2005 11:28 AM
We loved it! OK, not seriously loved it - but fun-to-not-have-to-think loved it.
Posted by: Mara | February 24, 2005 11:41 AM
Okay, okay, so what *did* Rae get you? The suspenders are killing me.
Posted by: Nannie | February 24, 2005 3:02 PM
lol, if anyone thinks it's worth mentioning, Rae and I managed to only do a mediocre job for each other. for everyone else, I'm sorry, you probably won't be getting anything from me this year. On top of being about as dirt broke as they come, I've recently encountered a financial setback that is embarrassing because of its stupidity. (earlier, I lost a text book... this time I lost my bookbag sans expensive books (thank goodness) even still... i'm on the edge)
sorry guys. whatever maman got you was better than what I did.
Posted by: Mendon | February 24, 2005 9:10 PM
I got Mara wonderfalls, it's a TV series that was only on the air for three episodes- but thirteen were made. It sounded pretty hilarious- it's about a selfish girl who 'works' in a souvenir shop along Niagra falls. The statues int the store start talking to her. She's not sure if its a religious or psychotic experience.
Posted by: Rae | February 24, 2005 10:50 PM
And basically they force her to do good deeds. It's really quite amusing - I do remember one episode, however, that Mark and I looked at each other and said, "Hmm, was this the Valentine's Day episode?" Hahahha...I think every single character got romantically involved in that one!! Literally, every single one!
Posted by: Mara | February 25, 2005 5:02 AM