But not in Washington, D.C.
On Thursday, July 3rd, the older brother I never had, Karl Crandall, is getting married to Danielle Dunn, his girlfriend of seven years (eight years? nine?)
I was supposed to fly home today.
I didn't.
I wish I had.
Chris and I served in the Marine Corps together. We even lived in the same palatial dining/living/bedroom/efficiency (en suite!) for two years.
To say that it sucked would be to grant a certain kind of legitimacy to the period, as if it were soft, round and unpleasant, like finding that you've found a fly in your soup. It didn't suck. It was a heart rending, soul-crushing time. My faith was challenged and abandoned, the love of my life - I can't write about her, because it would open a flood of feelings I never want to have again as long as I live - hurt me, a mockery was made of the principles I held dear by the people charged with their enforcement and a man whom I admire and respect very deeply was hounded, abused, disrespected and humiliated on a daily basis. He never broke. I think it would have been easier to watch if he'd knuckled under. He never did.
That man was Chris Tisdale.
One day, when the despair was washing over us in fetid wave after fetid wave, I bought a number 10 can of fruit salad. I came home and Chris and I made a vow: One day, we were going to get out of that hellhole. And one day, when we'd made it, we were going to go on a road trip in a shiny convertible and we were going to eat that can of fruit salad and look back and joke about how unbelievably shitty our lives had been. And we were going to laugh, at all of it: the incompetence, the callousness, the evil that had tried to take us down and had failed!
That number 10 can of fruit salad sat on a shelf, a totem of survival. It came to symbolize hope.
Chris now lives in Alexandria, Virginia and the number 10 can sits on a shelf in Alexandria.
And when I get home, we're taking that road trip.
We've made it. The triumph is now.
We're gonna take that number 10 can, we're gonna peel it open with a can opener, and we're gonna take big heaping spoonfuls of five year old fruit salad and shovel it down our gullets. And we're gonna laugh like hyenas. We're gonna laugh and laugh and laugh until our stomachs ache - guess what, Despair? You didn't get us! And you never will, you son of a bitch! We're still alive! You ain't killed us yet!
"Ha!" I'm gonna say. "Was that all you had? You ain't nothin'! Ha ha ha!"
That's what we're gonna do when I get back.
I'm looking forward to it.
But it's going to have to wait until tomorrow, because I didn't get to fly today.
I'm glad you are going to make it back for Carl's wedding. Enjoy your trip -- and that can of fruit! (Ugh!)
If you have time, stop by and say hi...or help move a sofa:) Have a grand time at the wedding and wish Karl and Danielle good luck (should that be congratulations?!) on my behalf!
Nathan, this was H I L A R I O U S !!! I loved this blog, great writing man!!! I love the detail and the dramatization of the fruit salad can. Dead beat and funny! But you have to promise to post the part II: the fruit-salad roadtrip when you're done.
PS: I'm going to check out the post you mentioned now. And PPS: Did you read my comment about the beggar in Edinburgh? I think I met him.
The wedding is today, no?
Have fun.
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mom: I am the child may be too quiet []
② 0 1 0 Nian November ④ No. I wore a pair of high heels to practice a mature tone
のmy mother asked me to eat just off friends Me. I said write Ri-chi........
11 月 ⑩ ③
yesterday morning in the cold, night Me sleep, medicine to take effect that can be seen, This Sinopharm Church の seemingly fake drugs now? Who cares.
on my life so boring I used to own quiet way, what Bu you? Cold can make me care more about themselves, at least now I have become a woman の by the others must be, will also boast I caught Ren の. Quack....
I am not used Ren more の place unless I am quite of your relationship, or else I will die of shame, admit that I ink the....
Boring feces friends soon the New Year, I want a year older friends the old one-year-old that I love the .20-year-old just the good Lord....
Pou said friends, friends I take medicine to Otherwise mother come back... grab a center that is caused by the Ren today の uncomfortable to feel cold bluff more.
12: 09
feel like this is now November 14 cold.
time how so Kuaia, see if they have an anemic emaciated look is really it, sister YU X call me a lion aunt, noisy death of me ╭ (╯ ^ ╰) ╮ I want to according to the host side of the keyboard while holding the button, O God... ..... and so on and shouting friends.... She want me to play with her raging and I fear a cold transmitted to her.. ~~~~(>_
[every time I want to be bullied children
[mad] had to call my mother to help each lesson in the end they [who]
children, I adults actually....]
ten ① ② on May 2 12:51
just arguing with my mother heard me read the article, O (∩ _ ∩) O haha ~ I thought she would I refused, the results that I will always be her mother's good baby, I hear shy friends.
rattle to accompany her mother to wait for the next go shopping, special mood today the sun, I took two his jacket, feeling super-Ay, a sunny place to stand in the body to absorb vitamins, I just kept smiling.
another four days, to surprise her mother myself, I want to say I always will listen to you, then obediently of! O (∩ _ ∩) O ~
ten ① on ② ten ③ / day
boring day in the shade of it, mother birthday tomorrow,http://www.uggscanadancheap.com/, Oh how I had now listless...
just read the Department of Xie Na's film, Oh see who is crying is to laugh. Suddenly miss a song, it is an old love song, oh, it's beautiful lyrics.
.. ........ ..
O (∩ _ ∩) O ~ how to eat it two chocolate headache, depressed.. former do not know what a headache like the feeling of the past, often heard my mother say it a headache, I was depressed that is how
months, and today finally finally feeling, very uncomfortable, telephones rang matter who I did not want to take, has been used friends, not like the phone, chat Q does not love does not love all sorts
... ....
morning, cook the noodles themselves, Oh I know not to concentrate on cooking, but also embarrassed to go get my brother a ride up there to eat on their own, quack, do not know how to reason,http://www.tiffanycocanadan.com/, that pasta is good
light it, like my personality.
estimated eleven friends on Quhan brother up, hey, they Shuide Xiang pig-like, I told him that the noodles are not good,http://www.vuittonoutletonline.com/, let him not eat, O (∩ _ ∩) O haha ~ but I know his most
Loved my friends, he ate one must say that you do it, I said er er, anyway, I used to matter, he did eat my meal.
home now I am a person, the whole world is busy, except I was the only house here, not only music, chat, and I used music... ...
love palm is sinking bright red beans inside the United States does not want to drop but the most heart
entrance there was a place where no one dared to touch a deep
Lookinto my eyes - in fact I am very easy to
life looks like to spend a
2010 ten er month 27
10 号 to go to work today. friends have been days, time is really fast soon, I have to sleep early Fall in love with such a busy day late, after all, I am also a person who is not a day doing nothing, stay as long as previously thought, so stay simple enough to meet, but now do not think, I want to say thanks soon...
every morning to night, not too fussy for everyone smile is my habit, I do not want this ridiculous life of talk about why sometimes inadvertently see some clearly do not care obviously do not care about their own things, but also headache, mood swing it? I panic. .... Like talking about feelings, I can not face, not his injury because I own a very good protection, cover better. But the character is too weak, not a general weak, ordinary people can not imagine me.
has always been so simple, the face of everyone I will not lie,http://www.asicsonlinebuy.com/, you do not like me keep a smile.....
have been busy these days, their registration, I have a few slow days, Oh no way, I do not worry, today ready to get up, but the teacher has changed his mind, but unfortunately the dead are, alas, had acquired about it. Soon the New Year, do not feel the cold this winter, because I was afraid to wear than the previous winter, thick, and may heart has its own special courage seemed so full of energy, time to say what went blog, but recently rarely , busy Oh, good work, although he alone can face the realities I do most small. quack. Oh, when I can grow up ah? Refueling Yyo
...... 19:48 '
2010 May 29
ten er really cold today, oh, better not go to the countryside, at noon to a new campus, but unfortunately there is no part of my memories.... her mother in the car waiting for me, he quietly walking in a quiet hallway, looking for a teacher's office, huh, huh. bad environment is good, but too less of life than wide, I miss the time once again come to mind, they do things to speak face, Oh, really interesting, I grew up in a blink of an eye, 19-year-old graduate, work, and quiet, at least know what is required, which is no longer immersed in childish fantasy.... the whole building is only my footsteps,http://www.tnfjacketsclearance.com/, I clearly hear their breathing, secretly giggle, imagine to see the teacher's every move, imagine she changed a lot, imagine when she saw my face, I imagine to imagine....
br>
I gently knocked on the door to meet my old teacher is the one smiling face, hey, feel good kind Oh, just this year I feel I do not know for several centuries, a good exaggeration Oh! open has now been laughing to laugh, I cut the fruit, chatted me now.
feel really good miss Oh, really want to create a new campus in the sky belongs to me, really really want , but I know it's not likely..... I continue to report the teacher DAZ I promised her I want to own more, and hey, registered over today, but also to get a diploma, work units are YU lin, worship feel this way a few years, but very happy, very simple, often thought of when I think of his innocent sister that class, then so happy, they would fight no less, no less naughty, day to night not in class one afternoon shopping wandered study up to the door every time when they will find me to imitate the signature of the class teacher, the time went skipping every class, let them to several of us locked in the dorm room, then pulled curtains, possession of good shoes, sat on the bed lazy to eat snacks, go to sleep in, but even so the class teacher will sneak in the door Toumiao us, ha ha unfortunately did not Toumiao to... that life is really good. enough moisture..... but now is not the same, grow up mature, must feel the responsibility to face the future, so I want to
quiet life with their own good, so simply I have a good one for every day, what is no longer insist on unnecessary things......
...... 20:15 '
2011 Yi 7
time flies really fast, so fast that I do not have time fantasy tomorrow... an instant I have to work a month, and this time did not break.'ve been busy, sleep later than others, since the earlier than others, [Oh, but the Internet is because they had no time to close the New Year]
only two days, and feel better at ease, good miss........
miss that time.......
a house inside the home......
miss his simple-minded...... ..
Who does not miss his link......
who do not miss their meeting.....
miss their own....... .... ....
busy at work yesterday, has been very bored and typing on a computer, and finally removed altogether, feeling that some of the bad environment which suited, after all, I am a very house of the people, every day I are the first, a person quietly imagine their own future, hum a ditty, deep breathing the cool morning... all of a sudden feel better slim, today is boring, but I finally busy bee, really suffocating , an unprecedented rise in my heart feel all of a sudden, I can not control, Manga busy, so this winter to be gone? Fortunately I had a cold, frozen over....
may be 2 points more, and I got a contract, confused, and want to escape, but I did not, I accept this kind of life, the contract under this hesitation in my generation, one-year period, it could continue to adapt to this the bad environment, the face of these people, I must learn to face, let go their own lives, what not to torture yourself, each story every miracle is created, since I chose this profession should cherish it now , so I feel proud of, really, feel good, really good, at least the past few years coming to an obligation to 19 years old today, my bad, I use their efforts to prove their pay at least I have a clear conscience, to whom I have to use really, not to cramp their own happiness, not to their own happiness allergies, do not want to doubt this life, not devotion, do not force wayward perfect, because then things should be a process the United States , and I'm doing this process, I hope they really mature for 11 years, one year older, the more courage, more conceited, so I can let others look not so stupid, let me stress the contract, behind the ruthless hard to hard to push me forward it.
21:54 'IS TO HETTDRRY
2011 Yi on 10 9 *
this feeling seemingly a long time... quack This is still the same over the past few days, busy, feeling like she was still hot and cold play with time, it seems to have stopped at the origin can not move, I do not like some people overconfident doubt me, a self-righteous way, that he was a god, I poked.. ...... yesterday to K songs, all of a sudden release of the former kind of lively, often thought of HeTong feel really boring, do not know how to describe the state of their own , was very concerned about me, I have some concern want to escape, but also some suspicion of my people, I know what to do, do not explain explain. well hope freed themselves so that they can be had for the future is very simple, very low-key.........
morning 7:50 HuZhang my shift, I feel very suddenly, did not care about the way say, 'ah, the results I am not a serious laugh, so many people are awkward, as the way for the others... the first time this fails, it will end, they have to reflect, she felt so naive simple, when people can not be passive, they become more active, but this seems to be die hard, really hard Oh, who cares, he knows his own sad, only try to change, so I hope people are not disappointed very OK, so it is to meet their own, and I hope I understanding of people, especially people who get along with me, I want to do to get your smile, so I will be satisfied, very practical, day to teach my people, I remember you said to a kind also do not give good face, so I will be very happy, really.
work to find her mother, severely pretend happiness, so that mothers do not see that, but I can not do, to see my mother began is filled with good, but his head down looking at the mirror on the phone, so that eyes so red........ I cried, feeling his usual brutal on the mother suddenly gone, I fear that walked away, I cried a lot standing in the bathroom, I hurt myself so fragile, so simple, in this bad environment where they are the smallest, but the face of the person more mature than their own, everyone has own effort, but I will not, I just simply live each day, perhaps the good and bad really mature and immature people themselves tangled....
not say, at least for now their good mood, to take over every day, I cherish the people I really understand you ~
18:34 'go go
2011 Yi May 31 *
tangled heart vary, I'm so confused, good weakness, what are the clouds, you want to give up everything, do not work... Do not breathe Do not. all do not, today's holiday, because some trivial thing
situation directly affects my mood, it can not say too much, not too stiff expression, which I know, I have always been very sensible for others, but feel no one in this world, and
people like me, sometimes it is the laugh of their own, unexpected results can not say too much, my closest gorgeous silent SAD, how can I have this idea that the New Year, I heard a good New Year too the
then there will be very successful year, and now I direct, I suspect this will not be very smooth, I felt like the person is not breathing, walking down the street like a swinging clock ... ...... ...
I do not want to swing with, so do not want to ignore their own, and today I am the shadow says: you great, you are well, no one better than you more stable, more considerate of others, at least there are some people who are not as good as some of you
not, and I do all you can have a clear conscience, then do not bear others to their trouble, some people he not in front of angry people that do wrong, you will find to do instead of.
2011 3 / 10 overcast autumn instant fast forward
winter, now I spend every day room, this time feeling very happy, because there is a person, a person I love,
we are not lovers, not friends, we became estranged
I know this feeling is unparalleled beauty, this feeling is happiness, grace, every day I look forward to, TA then so I was reluctant to let my heart,
we have the same hobby, kind of unspeakable shy
no matter how ugly I was singing, TA can be enjoyed to say well, no matter how immature I can be TA favor me, guard me call me stupid,
us silly, very naive, very tolerant, you are so considerate
I want to say:
any case we are happy with a smile every day of
nothing more cherished than it is now The
Yes, this is a strange beauty and wonder
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