T in the Park
Every year, Edinburgh plays host to close to a hundred bands in a colossal frenzy of music and action called T in the Park.
'T' because it's sponsored by Tenants Lager, which is basically the only beverage you can drink. This doesn't bother most folks, who show up and start drinking beer at noon and stop sometime after three am.
The music is fantastic and, like Glastonbury, you can camp there.
I did, with my friend Roddy.
We ate pancakes and bacon and eggs and carted in enough food to have fed an Army unit for a week. Next year, we'll plan better and pack less heavily.
They search your bags for 'offensive weapons' and contraband alcohol.
Naturally, we brought in an eight inch Global vanadium steel French chef's knife, a naggin of vodka, a naggin of bourbon, various bottles of other beverages and hid all of this away in nooks and crannies.
We also brought a hammer for pounding in the tent stakes; the knife was hidden, the bottles were hidden, but the hammer was strapped to the outside of Roddy's pack. They confiscated the hammer but didn't take anything else away from us.
At any rate, here's what was showing:
Chemical Brothers, Groove Armada, Felix Da Housecat and Basement Jaxx are all brilliant. Unfortunately, the Slam Tent was so jam packed that we didn't get in. At all. The Slam Tent probably needs to be split, since it's so immense that I don't know how they could make it any bigger.
Okay, I owe Carol an apology about The Darkness. I said that they were a re-hash of Supertramp, Styx, Foreigner, Journey, Air Supply, Quiet Riot, Ted Nugent, Twisted Sister and just about every other eighties band you could name. They were long on three-chord guitar riffs, middle-eight bridges, power ballads, long hair and outlandish outfits.
The single most awe inspiring moment of the entire T in the Park was The Darkness. They were almost worth the price of admission, and the price of admission was $400. I forgot how much I freakin' love Supertramp, Styx, Journey, Foreigner, Quiet Riot and Twisted Sister. What an awesome show, guys. Absolutely crazy.
Scissor Sisters were surprisingly good; I'd never heard of them. The Thrills sang one song I know - Don't go Back to Big Sur - which is a Carolf Forbes favorite and it made me all misty-eyed and nostalgic.
The Black Eyed Peas were another highlight and a total crowd pleaser; what a great time that turned out to be.
Pink was rank; I hope she comes back next year, because after a few festivals, I'm sure she'll learn how to play to an outdoor, festival crowd, which is very different from playing to Americans or indoors. The Black Eyed Peas were, admittedly, a tough act to follow, but she could have fed off their energy. Instead, she just reeked.
We only caught the end of Faithless; it was a good ending, but I have the feeling they had been even better, because the crowd was already heaving when we showed up.
Franz Ferdinand didn't capture my interest. The Strokes are always awesome, but we were too shattered to see them; we left early to beat the rush and get some sleep.
We spent most of our time back and forth between the NME stage and the Main stage.
I've decided that I don't like Badly Drawn Boy and probably never will.
The Wu Tang Clan was great - they know how to get a crowd moving and are great performers. You can tell they've done this whole performing on stage thing a few times before.
N*E*R*D was okay; both Roddy and I enjoy their studio stuff and have liked a few hits that have been re-mixed for the club scene, but just couldn't get into the groove they were laying down. The night before we were torn between whether we'd see Massive Attack or the Strokes, but in the middle of N*E*R*D, Roddy said, "I just can't get into these guys." and I said, "Let's beat the rush home. I'm absolutely f*cked." so we left.
There only thing in King Tut's Wah Wah tent that interested either of us was Snow Patrol, but they were a distant third to The Strokes and Massive Attack. At any rate, we saw none of the three and never went near the Wah Wah tent, which has a ridiculous name.
Here's a few shots from the gigs. Most of my pictures are too unsteady to reproduce here, for reasons that should be self-evident when one spends three days at a festival sponsored by a brewery.
This is Jen, giving us Jazz hands! Jen is sixteen years old and is proud to be starting school as a cosmetologist! Behind her, looking distinctly miffed is Alice, her friend who is sixteen years old and starting a life of cheap, slatternly misery! Jen and Alice stole beer from a neighboring tent and gave it to me and Roddy; they tried to chat us up, but frankly, the only thing interesting about them is that they were sixteen. When they asked our ages, Roddy told them he was turning 24 in a few months (ha!) and I told them I was 70.
They believed both of us.
Not the brightest of girls. Jen was a sweetheart, though, and someone who would make a great friend. Alice, on the other hand, was a useless cow. I couldn't stand her from the moment I met her and the feeling was mutual within minutes. She hated that I spoke to Jen instead of letting her be the center of attention.
Here's a bit of the Black Eyed Peas gig, which was awesome.
Some more Peas.
And some N*E*R*D.
