Okay, it's been 3 and 1/2 months. (and yes, Liam is trying the sleeping thing again - can you tell I'm not used to doing anything without him in arms? I can't even think of anything other to do...)
I originally had no desire to write down my birthing story. My friend Leila, however, just experienced her sister-in-law giving birth and I keep checking for her birth story for some reason, so I thought I'd settle for me describing mine.
The doctors' did an ultrasound and decided that Liam was too small. There was a chance he had IUGR (too small - not getting enough nutrients through the placenta), and that could be bad. They also thought I didn't have enough amniotic fluid.
Both turned out to be false. Which, well, I have to admit I sort of knew. In the future I will not repeat this experience. Because of these decisions, I was induced. That night. So, 3 April, Mark and I went to the first hour of our last Lamaze class and then headed upstairs for me to receive the first phase of my induction: Cervidil (sp?). It's basically a tampon meant to soften the cervix. It did. By the next morning I was 3 cm dilated and they began me on Pitocin and my antibiotics since I also tested positive for Group B Strep.
I labored, rather simply and straightforwardly, for about 9 hours. Mark was a wonderful, helpful partner. Someday I hope to hear his side of the story. My mother joined us, well, frankly, I have no idea when. Around 4 pm maybe? I cried when she arrived. I'd had no idea just how much I wanted her there. She was such a solace. Her simple presence gave me more comfort and confidence than anything else in the world could have possibly.
I think around that same time my doula arrived. For those who know, that's our dear friend Anne Grove - a midwife. Her loving encouragement and knowledgeable skill guided my experience. She directed me so that my labor continued on when it started to falter a bit.
Around 7 p.m. my water broke - all of its own accord, thankfully. Proof positive I had plenty amniotic fluid, thank you very much. When my water broke, I immediately advanced to 5 cm. The contractions immediately accelerated.
Through. The. Roof.
Good ole Pitocin.
My mind went into overdrive. A panicked frenzy. I thought I was going to pass out from the pain, mainly because I knew that 5 centimeters dilated does not a delivery make. A woman can still be in labor for HOURS at that point.
But I wasn't. Basically, every contraction brought me a centimeter closer to delivery.
Literally. My midwife (not Anne) snapped me back into focus and got me centered. I remember her quite clearly getting in my face and practically yelling at me, "Mara, this is going to happen. It can happen. But we need you to focus. Now." Bless her heart. I love that woman. That was exactly what I needed. I would have never thought it, but she got me on my hands and knees and it made everything much easier.
45 minutes later, Liam was born. Yeah. 5 centimeters. 45 minutes. Done.
Thank goodness someone finally told me that if you take it the slower route (sans Pit), it's not quite so painful.
However, I do have a caveat: I did it. I survived. No drugs. So, those 45 minutes were extreme, but they were obviously survivable 'cause I'm still here. And whole.
And I know I'm getting some distance from the whole experience because I suspect I could even convince my body to go through it again.
(and Liam is still asleep this time!)
What a story! I like the happy ending part, and the final result was definitely worth the pain.
Thank you for taking care of us so well during our holiday! I was really happy to see you and Marc again. And thanks for the photos on Facebook!
Love,
Ingrida
Maybe I can convince mine (hold the "again" portion of your comment), and we can actually be in-sync this time . . . . . . Mara, thanks so much for this post. Especially since I haven't spoken with you since Liam was on the other side of your belly button! Much love to all of you ... and if you ever get the opportunity to come out this way, our new home has PLENTY of (air conditioned) room for your whole fam!
mara. i haven't even read your whole entry. i just woke up----from a dream laden with you, mark, and unborn liam. so many details: you leaning over me and letting my hand reach underneath onto belly, and i felt liam's legs. long, they were! mark, and you and me all preparing for your birth, because you were big with child. some woman calling you on the phone to chastise you for some pre- birth thing that you'd done and written about on your blog, and you talking calmly to her and then leaving the phone on a bench so she could talk herself hoarse while you explained to me what you actually did and why. you shaved your head at one point in the dream, when i had just been looking at your hair and noticing the cut. you pressing my hand to the other side of your belly, so that i could feel liam's hand pressing up against the side of your womb. noticing how healthy mark was (now that i'm awake, this does seem weird. but i dreamed it, yo.) your whole belly was taut---like sebrina's when she had contractions towards the end of her pregnancy.
the whole dream was one of wonderment---feeling liam so close to this world, because i could feel his limbs---intimacy (us talking close to each other on the couch), and anticipation.
i promise you i woke up twenty minutes ago from this dream.
and i feel a little bit weird to check your blog and find this entry.
i love you and (borned) liam so much.
i can't wait to see you.
leila
...
and reading this entry is like finishing the story of my dream.
i'll talk with sebrina about whether i can write about her birth. i only know some bare details and that she is very serene and happy. the baby still doesn't have a name, as far as i know, though.
take care. xxoo leila
Auntie Ngga - I (we) loved seeing you again, too! The visit was wonderful. We'll be having dinner tonight with the Martino clan in fact.
Crys: DO NOT WAIT FOR ME!!!! Yes, I say it may be possible to convince my body to do this again, but seriously, not for like another 5 years. Please! I couldn't bear the wait!
Leila - I love your dream. I miss you! And as we're about to move to Columbus, flying out Skybus makes even more sense! You can even use us as home base, and fly from Columbus to Boston, LA, etc. for ridiculously cheap. Hint. Hint. No car, no job, and barely any moola required. Especially with us. :-)
Don't worry . . . at this point in the game, the "don't rush it" theory isn't playing any part, big or small. I'd give anything . . . you know that. :)
WOW!!! Thank you Mara for sharing this - beautiful account!
Love to you (all three), noel
What a lovely telling. Although I had to laugh as I started saying "jou must FO-CUS, Mara" (with a strong accent) halfway through the story.
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