Everything, Nothing, and I'm a Middle Child

So, just some random thoughts :-)

I love my job. Yay. Just thought I'd share.

I think I broke one of the washing machines. I put my backpack in it & I broke the water dispenser. It still works, but now it can move - not good. Oops. Not to worry - 'they' know about it.

Saturday we are hosting a BBQ for Mark's orientation group. It's been 9 months. He's calling it the "We've Been Here Long Enough to Have a Baby" party. Hmm... no idea where his mind is....

Okay, ciao - off to lunch! Today I get an hour and a half lunch instead of an hour - yippee!

Posted by at 12:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

For your comparison, this is me. See Violetta below.

Posted by at 7:21 AM | Permalink

Me, me, me, me, me. Not that I'm taking this personally or anything. For those of you who are wondering what this is all about, both my mother and my older brother saw pictures of my friend, Violetta and said that not only did she look like me, but that they thought she was me. I'm just helping them remember what I look like.

Posted by at 7:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

I called this one Model Mark for two reasons:

1. He was an exemplary model, patiently allowing me to shoot about 30 pictures of him to help me practice taking pictures for class.

2. This looks like such a model pose to me! I could totally see this going in some magazine or something. Not that the picture is that fabulous - just his pose.

Posted by at 7:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I took this picture to show shallow depth of field. [it's of Mark ... or Mark's hand]

Posted by at 7:08 AM | Permalink

This is me. Not that it shows how Violetta and I are different. But I was asked to post more of the pictures I'd taken for my photography class.

Posted by at 7:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

This is what Violetta looks like. It's out of focus [yes, one of my photo class pics], but it's her. Not me :-)

Posted by at 7:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

For some, I suppose that will be thought-provoking - four years? already? wow, what a long time... For others, it's almost a laughable period of time. Four years? You still have no idea ... which is true, and I know it.

On the other hand, it is still four years, and if I managed to learn something in four years of college, I think I've learned a thing or two in four years of marriage.

Last Thursday was our anniversary. We took the day off, and travelled around Israel for the next three days.

First lesson: Israel is really, really small. And what with the temperments as they are, it's really, really, really small. We never drove more than an hour and a half to our destination, which is okay, spending all your time driving isn't necessarily fun either. The day trips were nice because we got a vacation without the hassle of the airports. Unlike Nathan's vacation, we feel like we really had a great, relaxing vacation. We went to a park that had converted natural pools into a water park (but still, much more nature, than 'park'). We went to an artist's colony (Sefat/Safed/Tsefat) north of the Galilee and had the best coffee I've ever had [that's saying a lot - I don't generally like coffee], we drove around the Galilee a bit (saw the Church of the Beatitudes, one of the loveliest (simple) churches I've ever seen), we visited Ziporri/Sephorris, a partially excavated Roman village - with an amazing aqueduct that we could go down and walk around in - breathtaking!! And then we'd go out and have yummy Asian food for dinner :-)

But beyond that, Mark and I have had a number of opportunities over this past year to really discuss and work on our marriage. I love that we work on our marriage. It feels like we're actually building this 'fortress of well-being' that can be a solid foundation for our future children, as well as ourselves. It also speaks of our willingness to grow, which is scary at times, but feels so good when you look back.

We just completed a marriage seminar with some other 'young' couples - married anywhere from 6 months to 10 years. There were discussion questions, meant for just the individual couple on each week's topic. It was a good way to bring up issues without it being confrontational - we were simply answering the questions. That helped us 1) realize we could, and should do this on our own and 2) discuss and work through some long standing issues. Ahhh, what a good feeling!

It also helped give me perspective on the quality of the marriage being a process, and that there are stages to marriage. What this means is that if something is difficult now, if you work through it, you're advancing, not just 'dealing with an issue'. It also means, to me, that there is nothing stagnant about marriage. It is dynamic, and the more we put into it, the more we get out. And the less we deal with stuff, perhaps because we don't want to rock the boat or some such idea, we're actually creating more tension instead of relieving it. Every issue has a solution, if we can be patient enough to work through it all the way to the end. That end is so delicious, too. The knowledge that I gain from those experiences, that can be somewhat painful as I go through them, is worth the effort. Because at that end, I know that we both understand one another better. We've had the opportunity to explain and explore our perspectives - usually our own exploration happens simultaneous to the explanation to the other - and come to a much better solution than the one we'd been limping along with.

We've started going through the Virtues Guide together. It's a book we'd like to incorporate into our children's lives, and we figured it'd help if we already had been working on it ourselves. We focus on a virtue a week (courage, helpfulness, love, etc.) - in our work, our play, and our marriage. And on Saturday evening, before we went back to work the next day, Mark asked me what we'd like to focus on this year for our marriage. I thought, "wow, what a great idea!" We haven't decided what yet... we'll see where that conversation takes us.

You know, before I got married, one of my priorities for a partner was someone who would help me be the better me. Help me even want to be a better me. This sort of stuff really makes me feel like I'm making progress.

And that I made the right choice, too. I love you, Mark, and I'm so happy we're spending eternity together.

Posted by at 10:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I simply couldn't resist this little boy! We were in one of our favorite cafes, Fresca, and this boy and his mother and sister were sitting next to us. We had ordered pizza, and when he saw our pizza he wanted some, too ... I think. He saw the pizza, started whining, I heard "pizza", and then about 15 minutes later they got a pizza, too... hmm. But this place has got to have the best pizza in Israel. It is amazingly delicious. Everyone we take to have pizza there raves about it. It doesn't hurt that they also have gelatto - which may very well mean they have the best ice cream in Israel as well.

Posted by at 2:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Not to worry. That's what it means to the Sarha tribe in Chad. When a family abandons a child, the child will say "mara", which means "where will I go now?"

Sad, eh?

But then, who isn't in the process of asking that question?

Posted by at 3:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Yes, you read that right.

I met John Leonard.

Who is John Leonard? Well, he happens to be the Knight of Baha'u'llah for the Falkland Islands, which, in brief, means he was the first Baha'i to have gone to the Falkland Islands.

I was born in the Falkland Islands.

So this was pretty cool for me. I know stories about him, and I am even aware that sometimes he and my parents didn't necessarily see eye to eye. Water under the bridge - he's a part of my history. I really wanted to meet him.

Problem was, I only learned he was here the day he was leaving. Wahhh!!!

So, I tried to detach, but the evening before he and Joan Bound (also from the Falklands) had told stories about it and I was bummed I'd missed them.

That evening was the night the consultants from Chad arrived, and I was to go have dinner with them. I sent an email to be given to John Leonard before he left, updated him on my family and left it at that. After work I left to meet the consultants for dinner.

The Shrine of the Bab was between my house and the consultants' flat, so I was walking past it and saw several tour buses out front. I knew they were here with a big group from Cypress, and at first I looked at the buses and thought "what is the chance? I know the Cypress group is supposed to leave from Akka, not Haifa..." But I saw far too many Grecian looking people to have any doubts. In a thoroughly un-Mara-like moment of spontaneity, I crossed the street, forgot about the consultants for the time being, and started asking people (remember, I was walking up to random people on the street at this point) whether they were from Cypress and if they knew if John Leonard would be on these buses.

I kept getting sent to the next bus forward, and of course, he was on the last bus. But, alas! They had to go! The woman asked me if I'd stay on the bus (Going to Tel-Aviv? NO!!), but I got a few minutes anyway as the bus drivers were off arguing somewhere together. The lady in the front had a microphone, so she asked if John Leonard would please raise his hand. Of course, middle of the bus, so here's the two of us standing in the middle of the bus as I say "My name is Mara Dornbrook, I was born in the Falklands." He asked my parents name again, and said excitedly, "Oh, yes! Of course I remember them!" He said this in a thoroughly un-British accent, which threw me, as I'd always thought he was British! Hahhaha! Dude's from New York... so much for my childhood memories :-) So, we hugged each other, he asked after my parents - and of course, sends you (Maman and Papa) his love and greetings, and not to worry, I conveyed the same to him and told him that you were doing well. Oh, I also thought he'd be much older... I always imagined an old curmudgeon... hee hee hee.

But I'm really glad I got to meet him. It somehow filled something for me.

So I got off the bus, as they had to leave. The lady in the front saw I was starting to cry, and said (remember she had a mike?) "Don't leave crying!" Well, besides the fact that the whole bus now knew I was in tears, and I started crying even more, I did tell her they were happy tears.

And off I went to my dinner with the Chadians.

More later.

Posted by at 3:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Okay, so an explanation. I volunteered myself to teach a laundry class. I approached the Youth Committee after seeing one of the youth completely destroy a load of laundry by mixing a new tie-dyed dress (brown/green/yellow) with her towel, sheets, shirts, etc. Everything was brown & green. GROSS!!!

I know I'm no expert, but I do know how to wash my laundry and manage to not ruin most of my clothes. Many of the youth who arrive here either have never had to do their laundry, or they come from a place where a washing machine is a major luxury. I've had all sorts of responses here about it. Some people think it's absurd (all westerners), but most people think it's a great idea. As for the westerners, I used to regularly teach my fellow college students how to do laundry, so I don't know why they think this is such a universal thing.

Posted by at 3:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Things are so, so, so busy and so, so, so exciting right now.

I am finally in a photo class. I can now pick up our camera without having spasms. I won't be able to attend all of the classes because of some of my other busy-ness, but this is very empowering for me.

Some consultants are coming soon for whom I will be translating (so is V :-)), and I am majorly excited (and nervous) about this. This is one of those occasions that in the outside world would be referred to as an opportunity for advancement in my field. I feel myself slowly making steps towards translation becoming a part of my life past my service at the World Centre. This is definitely a step in that direction.

Before they even leave, a large group of French-speaking pilgrims will be arriving, and I am scrounging to find people to help translate their pilgrimage for them. We'll see how that goes.

On top of that, I have a new French translator arriving TOMORROW, and in between translating for the consultants I have to train him - especially since he'll be on his own by Friday!

On top of that, I will be teaching a class, the topic of which I cannot currently disclose because it hasn't been announced here yet, and I've been asked not to tell people about it. Since a number of people reading my blog work with me, my lips are sealed for another day or two.

Okay, gotta' run and take more pictures while the light is still good!

Posted by at 3:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

A reflection of what I was doing a year ago. And a little bit about where I am today.

This time last year I had just decided to leave for Israel without Mark. He'd come later, once the house sold, which I naively assumed wouldn't take quite as long as it did. However, three months still wasn't as long as it could have been. I had 2 or 3 weeks to get ready to go. I decided that I'd pack up all our books, the kitchen, the basement, and all of my belongings before I went. Thereby facilitating the move for Mark (or so I thought, apparently there was still quite a bit of stuff left ...).

I had a migraine every day for the last two weeks before I left. I, again naively, assumed it was anxiety and that it would go away when I got to Israel. I gave up on that after the first month of being here, though they have subsided and are almost back to "normal". I would do darn near anything to get rid of migraines. I hear about people who get migraines a few times a year and I am green with envy. However, I was recently reading a women's health book that of those who suffer migraines, the average is 2-3 a month. At least I'm above average ;-)

Anyway, so there I was a year ago, planning on coming to Israel for 2 1/2 years. Selling my house, paying off debts, packing my bags, filling up months of prescriptions, signing power-of-attorney over to my husband (only a day before I left for Haifa, whew - close call!), visiting family and friends. It was a whirlwind of activity - my evenings largely filled with grouting a kitchen floor I'd never actually see finished. We worked so hard on that tile floor - and it is truly beautiful. I hope the new couple are enjoying it.

Then I got to Israel. I actually sit right next to the young woman who picked me up at the airport. She's from Chile. She leaves in 2 months. The World Centre is like that - you just get used to how it looks and it changes again. 20 new people every month, and just about as many who leave as well.

I was overwhelmed at first. Awe-inspired by the beauty, as well as the devotion of the individuals who had given up similar things in order to come here to serve at the Baha'i World Centre. I was excited as well as anxious about my work and how I'd 'fit in' here. Later I found out there really wasn't such a thing as 'fitting in'. What's there to 'fit in' to when there's such a rapid turnover rate? At least a third of the staff here are only here for a year - so a third of the staff that was here when I arrived are gone. Wow. By the time we leave it will have nearly completely 'turned over'. Amazing to think about. It's also amazing how smoothly everything continues to run here.

I got kind of used to not having Mark around. Admittedly, this is a dangerous thing. I think I've learned my lesson. On the one hand, how could I simply 'wait' for him to arrive when I didn't know when he would, but I also couldn't just live my life without him. People heard a lot about him, some suspected he didn't actually exist, and others didn't even catch on that I was married until months after Mark had gotten here. One person saw us at a party a month or so after Mark's arrival and said, "I see you two together a lot lately." Sorry buddy, your matchmaking skills are a bit after the fact.

When he did arrive we struggled for a while to figure out how to fit in. When I was here alone it hadn't been much of a problem, I pretty much hung out with other "singles". Then when Mark arrived, everyone disappeared. I later learned they were "giving us space". We were bored! I thought I'd upset my friends. That took us a while to sort out. But we did. And then we moved and started initiating things - inviting people over and stuff, and it felt much better - more natural. Now we sort of go through ebbs and flows. Sometimes we have so much activity we can barely cope, other times retreating into ourselves for weeks on end before we start longing for other people's company again. [at least that's my feeling, but I am admittedly the introvert in our marriage].

I do miss home. Right now, I miss the rain - the lush greenness of home. I miss having a car, or easy access to shopping facilities --- or shopping facilities that have things I actually want. Man, Target was convenient! Even though most Baha'is live within walking distance here, I miss the friends I used to just drop in on, or decide to do things with at the drop of a hat. People plan everything here. Sometimes that feels so formal to me. Of course, there's so much activity here, how do you have spontaneous moments?

I miss home, but I also wonder how I'll go back. The work I'm doing is definitely putting me in a position to get further into work involving the French-speaking world, be it Canada, Europe, Africa, or the Caribbean. Do I want to live in any of those places? Is there work I could do from the States? Where would I want to raise children? Have children? Where would be most likely to be able to help me with my migraines? What would Mark do in any of the abovementioned places?

Well, those are some things I've experienced and thoughts I've had over the past year.

Posted by at 6:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

I think I'm experiencing blog overload. I've actually had experiences where instead of being "in" them, I was thinking about how I would describe it on my blog. That's weird. At least in my opinion. And I can't even remember what those thoughts were. Duh...

Another weird thing... my brother has a link on his blog to my friend's blog. Read that again MY FRIEND. Okay, not that I'm possessive or anything, but I don't even know HOW to put a link to somebody's blog on my blog ... or I would. Ah well, sigh. Maybe somebody will read this, realize how pitiful this is, and tell me how to do it, because I haven't figured it out. I also happen to hate computer manuals as a whole because they are so dry, so boring, and well, not in my language.

I'm getting the shopping bug ... I'm beginning to itch for a long day of spending 'quality' time with another person whose shopping style is compatible to mine [I can go for long stretches, are you willing to let me try on 10 different shirts, then go out and get another pile of 10?]. I don't know why this is considered quality time, but I used to do this with my mother when I was younger, when I lived in the same hemisphere, that sort of thing. And I loved it. It was just her and me. For the day. So while we were shopping we'd be talking about all sorts of stuff... quality time, there ya' go. And I miss it. My dad was also a crucial part of this process. He was an EXCELLENT observer. When we returned home, with purchases - and exultant at how much money we'd 'saved', he'd sit down, ask us (or at least me, I can't remember how fully my mother participated in this ritual) to show or try on each item, and then he'd guess how much it cost. And he'd get excited at the good deals, and talk about how good something looked on me/us and where I/we could wear it.

Well, in any case, good memories. I miss my family.

Posted by at 9:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)