Anger.
I had a beautiful, relaxing weekend. I felt great. Refreshed even...
Then, I woke up at 5 this morning so angry from such a horrible, horrible dream. I immediately thought "I must have to go to the bathroom." Growing up, whenever we had a nightmare our mother had us go to the bathroom. I assume the theory is that if our bladders are full it may cause bad dreams. I have no idea if that is true, or if it was our mother's ploy to bring us back to reality, or maybe even simply an attempt to make sure we didn't wet the bed - but in any case, that's what I did this morning [went to the bathroom, not wet the bed].
I got back into bed, but I was so furious that I couldn't get back to sleep. I kept thinking/dreaming about what I'd dreamt, going in and out of consciousness. I tried praying to get it off my mind. Unfortunately, as you can tell, it didn't work, as I sit here 6 hours later writing about it.
I won't tell you the details, because, quite frankly, they don't deserve to be repeated. However, have you ever had a dream in which someone you know and love does something horrible, and even though you know it's a dream, it's hard not to hate them when you wake up? Well, that was definitely the case this morning.
I finally decided I had to examine that anger [with the assistance of a friend]. In effect, the anger I felt in the dream wasn't even so much about the action that the person in question had performed, but the effect that it had on my life. The fact that my life plans had to be seriously altered because of their actions infuriated me. Really, I'd say I was murderous. In the dream I actually said to a woman, "Leave now, because the only thing keeping me from killing you is this counter between us." At one point my mother tried to calm me and I simply stated, "The rules have changed now." Basically, imagine the worst dream you never want to have - that's what I dreamt last night.
In any case, I've been mulling over this anger - as it is still definitely lingering within me, raw - and I think I was able to pinpoint the source. Once I started thinking it was actually fairly obvious. Phew. At least now I have something else to focus on instead of that horrible dream.
Do you know, I actually considered not going into work today I felt so traumatized by the dream?! Of course, then I thought of me sitting at home just stewing in the dream - ugh! That would have been awful!
Wow, I wonder what Freud has to say about the dream.
It probably means that your body was so relaxed from the weekend that it decided that last night was a good night to dredge up the past because you could probably handle it now.
Or Freud could just be full of crap.
I'm sorry that you had an awful dream. If it helps you, at all, I've been having difficulty sleeping at night and too much ease at sleeping during the day. not cool. my dreams, too have been pretty bizarre lately, though not quite as bizarre or frequent, as when i was doped up on Mefloquine.
Much love!
Don't worry, you didn't miss too much from Queen Noor. Pretty much everything relevant you could have gotten from Baha'u'llah and everything that was politically motivated you already know about. it wasn't a particularly impressive, dynamic, or even superbly written speech. It basically rehashed a speech that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. gave, with impressive imagery and a fiery southern baptist accent that is just so cool to listen to, about forty years ago. It kind of reminded me of the type of speech a valedictorian would give on the day of comencement.
When I interpret everything in the dream as myself I am always able to find meaning...it's usually derived psychocrap...but it's meaning...Like when I have a dream that someone sneaks into my house and up the stairs and shoots Eric...that means that I am subconciously sabotaging myself in some way:) Silly but more helpful than dream books.
Jung. Carl Jung. He's the one who said that we are all the characters in our dreams. All of them. Curious.
Wow! I'm sorry Mara! I had the same experience last year at BWC. It wasn't anger though, the person in my dream hurt my feelings so bad and I was so frustrated because I couldn't explain to them so they could understand (I can't talk in my dreams) that I woke up crying.... When I look at dreams I try to interpret them based on what things make me feel like, for example, if I see someone in my dream that I know and they do something, I try to describe how that person makes me feel, for example, the person may make me feel angry and inferior, then I look at what in my life is making me feel that way, and I can usually figure out what the dream is telling me.
I actually like having significant dreams, even when they're disturbing.... I like it that there's another me that exists and every now and then she chooses to communicate with me and I'd like to think that she's there every night trying to help me on this journey called life. The fact that she is a mute is obviously a sign that I talk too much, but I try not to let that bother me.... :o))))