Skillful Creamery

I lay awake and wondered, “The Universe goes on forever…but what is after that?” My eight year old brain couldn’t maintain a firm grasp on the concept of forever. “Surely there is something beyond The Universe,” I thought as I imagined cubes of brightly colored space surrounding the known world. My mind was entering the realm of God. Surely the creator of the know world might dwell in the space surrounding the ‘everything’ that he/she had created. “And maybe around that is his mother’s room, and then his father’s. Maybe there is a whole family, or maybe there are other God’s that created and control other universes.”

Such unanswerable questions plagued my sleepy young mind night after night, until I determined to cram them to the back of my skull—to prevent them from ever resurfacing. This strategy has worked very well, save for the few nights a year that these ponderings escape my conscious suppression… and in these moments I remember my plagued eight year old self and ponder new unanswerable questions.

“What’s next for her? Does she peek out of my image in the mirror? Does she see me? Is she happy? Is she grown? Is she gone? Who will divert me from the black hole of silly questions that keep me awake at night? Does god exist? And is there a forever in store for me? Do I want a forever?”