End.

I want to respond to this without trivializing your emotion. Intention stated.

Thank you for sharing this. It's beautiful.

Thank you, Kristen.

Sweetheart,
My heart breaks with yours. I check your blog on a regular basis, hoping against hope that you will be there, that I can get a glimpse into your life, that you will share with me. I love someone, too. You.

I think back to when you were 4 and we were over at Debbie and Richard's. The girls had teased you or hurt your feelings and you came to me. I asked you what was wrong, you told me and then said, "I feel like a flower -- that has been picked." You were so sad, and my heart broke for you then, too.

Oh, Maman. Don't you worry. I'm okay.

I'm just sad sometimes.

I love you, Maman.

I don't worry; I know you are a big boy and can handle it. But I don't want you to be sad. No, I want you to be happy. I love you, too. And I feel your pain.

Why does the sun go on shiniing? Why does the sea rush to shore?
Dn't they know - it's the end of the world- Cause you don't love me anymore?

Why do the birds go on singing? Why do the stars glow above? Don't they know - it 's the end of the world?
It ended when I lost your love.

I wake up in the morning and I wonder
hy everythings the same as it was.
I can't understand, no I can't understand how life goes on the way it does.

Why does my heart go on beating, why do these eyes of mine cry? Don't they know it's the end of the world? It ended when you said goodbye.

Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.

I'm too numb to be original. The gut wrenching emotion is familiar and time is my arch nemesis. So too, is the poison surrounding me- choking me, stripping me of sanity. I am paralyzed.

Ah Rae, ah, Rae. Yes, it's true.

I'm feeling pretty low at the moment. It's 0457. I couldn't even tell you why I'm up.

The sinew of love is the grist of life and likeness. The affableness of love is continuous to a gladsomeness while the anguishment of love is also constant. Side by side they tumble into our lives and we always seem to suffer the sinews of love daily. I call it life. Some think of it as pain. Some know both too well.
Lately, I find it easier to tell you that, with all my heart, and powers of life, that I love you. I hope that , in some measure, it may ease your entwining sinews of love.

Hey, Papa!

Thank you. It does help. This morning wasn't so bad, and seeing your comment made me feel better.

I love you, too, Papa!

Hey Nathan
why not come out to New zealand for 6 months and help me lick a border management infrastructure into shape? 2 Summers in a row can't be bad for a broken heart.
Russell

I hope things are better for you now Nathan.

If its any comfort I found these words a while back and they make a lot of sense to me.

----

For me unhappiness comes from either dwelling too much on the past or dreaming too much about the future. It is only when I focus on the present that I feel truly content.

I believe it all comes down to having unfulfilled wants. You see for me, dwelling on the past is a want, because I yearn to re-live memories that cannot be re-lived, and to dream is a want, because my imagination runs wild, painting a very idealised and romantic picture that can never really be achieved to such perfection. The knowing that these thoughts are either rooted in the past or future, and are therefore either not possible to live at all, or only very far in the future (though, isnt it funny how "the future" keeps moving forward?), is ultimately what makes me unhappy.

Its only when I pull myself out of a state of being in the past or in the future and count my blessings of the present that I feel happy, because I have no wants or desires, I'm simply living the moment.

---

Nathan, you &*$%# pansey. I hope you read your own blog fairly often, because this is pretty much the only mechanism I have for getting in contact with you. Drop me a line, before I start posting embarrassing stories about you for your family.

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Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It's very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.

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Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It's very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.

Sorry for the huge review, but I'm really loving the new Zune, and hope this, as well as the excellent reviews some other people have written, will help you decide if it's the right choice for you.

Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass' favor.

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The new Zune browser is surprisingly good, but not as good as the iPod's. It works well, but isn't as fast as Safari, and has a clunkier interface. If you occasionally plan on using the web browser that's not an issue, but if you're planning to browse the web alot from your PMP then the iPod's larger screen and better browser may be important.

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