Oh, Dear God, I'm a Mess
Right.
So, how do you know you're a losing your mind?
Well, here are four warning signs:
1. I come home at the end of the day, go to my room, close the door and spend about four hours staring at the ceiling. When it gets dark, I don't sleep. I walk around Edinburgh. At least the city looks pretty at night.
2. I don't do the things I used to love and share because it reminds me of people I shared them with...people who aren't near me anymore. Some of those memories are so sweet...so sweet.
3. iTunes keeps track of my most played songs. Here's the top ten:
a. He Stopped Loving Her Today by Johnny Cash
b. Goodbye, My Lover by James Blunt
c. At This Moment by Billy Vera & and the Beaters
d. Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd
e. I'm Your Man by Leonard Cohen
f. Must I Paint You a Picture by Billy Bragg
g. I'm so Happy I Can't Stop Crying by Sting
h. Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley
i. Come Pick Me Up by Ryan Adams
j. Photographs & Memories by Jim Croce
Johnny Cash might not be able to sing, but boy, does he hit it right on the head. Sting can sing and he gets the feeling just right.
4. Sometimes I fall to the floor crying out "Oh God! Oh God!" but I don't even believe in God.
Well, I'm off to listen to Keiith Whitley until my iPod runs out of power. Y'all have a good night.
Comments
Or when you think things are moving to the side of you when you look to the side because somewhere along the line your brain has stopped processing (forgotten) that size is relative to distance.
And when you stay up late watching Television because going to sleep would mean agknowledging your fear of noises in the dark,alone.
When you run to Trader Joes at 8:47 to pick up a combination of chocolates, fruit, cheese and crackers to fill the void.
Posted by: Rachael | July 21, 2005 5:36 AM
Gotta admit, when you have both Leonard Cohen AND Jeff Buckley in the top ten, that says something.
Nathan, may I once again ask you to come visit us?!
Posted by: Mara | July 21, 2005 6:24 AM
Dang! going to Haifa would be way cooler than paying for me to come and visit you for a week before I went back to school. Oh well!
Nae, remember what you used to always tell me, "Don't let the bastards get you down." Feel better bro and email me if you need any brotherly support.
Posted by: Mendon | July 22, 2005 2:57 AM
Nae,
I'm sorry I (we're all sorry we) can't be there to make everything right in the world for you, to make new memories with you, to haul you out of that 4 hour stupor in your bed, and to introduce you to some new music! (Mason Jennings & Andrew Bird (Byrd?) for starters - Mark went to school w/ that last one)
Well, I guess we all know when's the best time to 'catch you at home' :)
Huge loads of love and hugs to you!
Posted by: Mara | July 22, 2005 8:18 AM
we're sad that you are sad. call anytime.
Posted by: Rachael | July 23, 2005 1:53 AM
Hey Nathan,
Sorry to hear things are down for you. Sorrier still that we're even farther away than DC/Philly. Now if I could only get that damned teleporter to work well . . .
Side note, I love the way my instinctive use of the "Tab" button makes typing anything on-line an adventure.
I've not got much going on in Philly, just the usual distractions that keep me from thinking about the crappier side of this floating rock: chasing rare birds (and the occasional whale that swims up the Delaware River, and he was white too!), destroying my enemies with Rise of Nations, Netflix, inane banter over comic book movies, inane comic book banter movies (not sure it that's real or not but wanted to put it in), dreaming about time off, pretending to work on those novels that keep getting pushed to the back burner, cooking with abandon, and desperately trying to remember to put something better to read in my bag for the train.
I remember there was a time I was listening to Depeche Mode's Blasphemous Rumors nonstop until Kevin Stockmaster threatened to destroy the CD.
You know where I am if you want to drop me an e-mail, and now that we're out of this crazy grant deadline I'll even have time for a reasonable reply!
I hope you'll be feeling more chipper soon.
--Steve
Posted by: Steve | July 25, 2005 8:13 PM