August 21, 2006

School doesn't start for two more days... not that it would matter

Last night, Kristen and I went for a walk at half past midnight. Usually, when we go for our walks, they are at a more reasonable hour. The people that we encounter are on their way to a party somewhere, not stumbling home to bed. At the corner of Campus and Chestnut we could smell the miasmatic waftings of cheap beer and the accompanying toxicity of alcohol. Everyone is back on campus now, including the freshman, and they couldn't wait until their parents left before they threw their responsiblity free house parties; class begins tuesday. The first house we encountered, two young men knelt in the front yard, on one knee, sheltering their respective cell-phones with the stray hand like walky-Talkys in a combat zone, hidden in the shade of opposite trees, talking commando style, beseeching girlfriends, "Roger three niner, Aw... C'mon Candace, please let me stay at your place tonight. Bravo Squad, Go! Go! Go!" We were sure that they were about to raid the party with an entire special ops unit.

The next house we strolled past reeked even more of Nati Light (the cheap college beer) and was strewn with exactly the quantity of garbage that littered the lawn last spring (despite having been cleaned up in the meantime). People crowded together on the roof of the house holding their beverage containers. I was amazed at how, in an afternoon, Oxford had reverted to the beer chugging party town that it is eight months of the year.

However, the most priceless moment came when we crossed the street in an effort to get away of the smell of inebriation. Two young men approached us on the sidewalk. We could smell them from a few yards away. As we passed one of them said, in a low, burpy, sing-song voice, akin to what I imagine as being a less sinister version of Mr. Hyde, "HellomynameisTravis, Howareyou?"

It was at that moment,I looked over at Kristen and thought, "Man... We... Are... Sooo... Sober!" And then we went home and slept it off.

Posted by Mendon at August 21, 2006 12:47 AM
Comments

I never know whether to laugh or cringe at these stories and always end up doing a bit of both. The fam and I were up there Friday evening and it had already begun. I made the joke that Freshman must come in packs of 6 or 10. Never seen such tight groupings on a sidewalk except... well, when I was a freshman many, many moons ago. Ah, the memories.

Posted by: Janet at August 21, 2006 8:32 AM

Warm breeze at midnight -
cheap beer will never suffice.
Drink a rum and coke.

Posted by: R. T. Bean at August 23, 2006 11:20 PM


The new drug of choice,
this is my brain on Haiku.
"Bravo squad, Go! Go! "

Posted by: R. T. Bean at August 23, 2006 11:25 PM