April 2007 Archives

I had no idea there was so much paperwork and bureaucracy to having a child.

We finally received Liam's social security card in the mail - woohoo! It is his first official, government-recognized document. It's also his first piece of mail addressed to him. I keep looking at it and saying ridiculous things like, "oooh, it's so cute!"

Mostly, though, I'm just relieved. I was afraid I was going to have to sit in a horrible office waiting hours on end to turn in a paper in order to request this card. Getting him on my insurance is still a bit of a catch-22, but this at least is one less thing to worry about. Catch-22? Yeah, I'm supposed to turn in the application within 30 days, however, I can't apply for his birth certificate until 30 days after his birth. Uh, whose idea was this?!!?

I'm realizing that one of the most surreal aspects about being a parent is that I (we) have named this unnamed being. We have put our preference upon him already. It feels ... unnatural, like in some way I'm sullying his being. It suddenly seems so bizarre to me that we give names to our children at birth. I mean, it isn't exactly necessary - he's got no clue that "Liam" refers to him right now*.

I think this is actually is a small aspect of something much larger - I wonder at every action, comment, etc. as to how that may shape who he becomes in the future. Are we scarring him already? Are we dooming his reality by doing - or not doing - X? Are we setting him on the right course by modelling some action - or not? Oh my goodness. I suppose I best get used to this new reality of mine....

*Don't get me wrong, I like his name. And, as a matter of fact, I like my own name, so either my parents got it right, I grew into it, or both.

He's not always either crying or asleep!

Because the label on Mark's shampoo states the following:

WARNING: This product contains chemicals known to the state of California to cause cancer.

You know what's particularly comforting? They don't tell you which ones!

Whoa. They ain't joking when they talk about postpartum blues due to a serious hormonal roller coaster-esque drop. The medical staff talked about the 'first ten days' being susceptible to 'the blues'. Yah. It's now 12 days out and it really was yesterday that I started feeling the fog lift. Night feedings, with exhaustion and alone time added in, were harrowing. A couple of times I sat feeding Liam with tears streaming down my face. And no, they were not tears of joy. Tears shed for the life I've left behind, the dream job I'll never have again, the freedom I had, etc. The rest of the family talked about being over the moon, full of happiness and sheer amazement at the birth of our son. And I silently sat there wondering, "what the hell were we thinking?!?!"

I think the worst part of it was that surrounded by this joy and excitement, it is practically forbidden to speak up and say that I was not happy, I was not over the moon, and, umm... would someone like to take him off my hands, please (permanently)?

Fortunately for me, my entire family came in to town this past week for my grandfather's funeral (thank you, grandpa, for your thoughtful consideration), so we had a houseful of eager aunts and uncles wanting nothing better than to do exactly that - take Liam off my hands; not to mention affording me a reason to get out of the house. Furthermore, what with them being my siblings, there was enough noise and activity in my parents' relatively small home for me to silently fade into the background while I struggled to figure out what I was going to do.

Well, as I said, fortunately for me the fog has lifted; I can see his adorable cuteness, serene innocence and something other than a future in which he terrorizes me and everyone else's path he crosses.

To end on a happy note, here we are, with a very obviously ecstatic Auntie Rae:

Check out Nathan's blog for more photos of the happy relatives with Liam.

Blankets for Liam, all made by women whose names start with C, oddly enough. We took these before I delivered, not realizing I was about to be induced.

Cindy's quilt - freaking awesome, no? This woman's mad skills blow my mind. She then went on to make two little mini-quilts the perfect size of our bassinet.

Candy's funness

Cathy's blanket

I know of more coming, but they aren't in my possession yet :-)

And the photo everyone's been asking for, Mark and Liam. It's hard when Mark is usually behind the camera! We'll work on this.

That is his name. Eating, pooping and sleeping are his game (with a little luck).

We're all relatively well. I'm sore from shoulders to hips - including everything inbetween. Liam was a wee bit jaundiced, and the lab tech was completely incompetent, so we had a brief visit to the pediatric ER yesterday that made us a bit wild with rage, but we're over it.

Liam just woke up. Enough one-handed typing. Thank you all.

Well, it's time.

No, really. It's time. We're going into the hospital shortly and not coming out until ... until, well, we've got a baby to bring home.

I had the ultrasound today and not only is the baby in the much smaller percentile (umm, 2nd?), but the placenta looks as if it's not getting as much nutrition to the baby as it should be, so keeping it here on the other side of my belly button for the next two weeks wouldn't do it any favors.

Me? Nervous? HAhahahahahaha...(that's me laughing uncontrollably). Oh. My. Freaking. Gods.

Holy Crap!!!

Erm...see ya' on the flip side!

(darn it, I had a hair appointment tomorrow, I still haven't finished the baby sweater...sigh...)