Life at the Moment
I don't feel like anything stunning has happened lately, just lots of little things.
I'm hemming curtains for the kitchen in between thoughts.
Our kitchen is now full of our kitchen stuff - stuff we'd totally forgotten we owned (it has been 5 years).
Nathan's wedding is coming together. Good thing, as it is in less than a month now!
I miss my mother a lot. Leroy Seivers died on Friday. He may mean nothing to you, but he had a blog, "My Cancer", on NPR.org, my mother was a regular and that is what got her featured on Ted Koppel's show about Leroy and cancer. It just absolutely tickled her that she was a part of that show. It was a rare happy spot in her final years. Really, really happy. She wore purple for every part of the show (3 parts). Leroy dying means something to me. I can't even tell you what. A closing of a chapter? A reopening of a wound? I can't say. I cried. But on the other hand, it was certainly no surprise. Both he and my mother were supposed to be dead years ago.
I realized the other day that I'm not sure that I have the emotional strength to have any more children without my mother around. Anyone know what I'm talking about? (Ironically, I'm pretty sure my mother would.) I don't know who knows this, but I very much had Liam for her. She certainly knew it. Without that impetus.... it's a much scarier proposition.
On a lighter note, Liam is big into wearing shoes right now and is definitely showing signs of potty-readiness. We'll see. I don't have any expectations. He's also really mastering the sign language. I need to look into more baby signs. I could do random signs, but I realized that if there are books out there on "baby sign", they're probably geared toward the things babies are interested in, which in my mind, simply saves time. Why teach him the word for sunrise if he simply doesn't care right now?
Well, I'm going to go finish these curtains. Cheers... or put a crying baby back to sleep...sigh...
Comments
Oh, that's so sad about Leroy. I didn't know he died. I did really feel like his journey and your mom's were sort of intertwined.
No need to think to much about having any more children at this point. You and Mark are young and have the luxury of lots of time to make up your mind or replenish your emotional stores. I would never have planned to put this much space between children (Petunia will be at least 6 before we can even possibly have another), but I am going to have so much energy and be so excited and happy when it finally happens, it will be like starting from scratch. At least, that's what I hope.
Looking forward to seeing you next month!
Posted by: merseydotes | August 20, 2008 5:46 PM
Hello, Mara....I found your mother's website when I saw her on Living With Cancer, and I popped back over here today because I, too, am very saddened by the loss of Leroy Sievers last week. From watching that show and reading some blogs, it was easy to see what wonderful people both your mother and Leroy were. They're truly missed, I know. My best to you and your family.
Posted by: Julie | August 20, 2008 5:52 PM