Joyful?
As I lay a sobbing mess on my bed, I made a decision. I'm not going to lie and I'm not going to pretend. You can congratulate us and I will fully understand, but I am in an extreme amount of pain. I haven't been to work in 6 weeks - and you can still see the exhaustion in my eyes. The most comparable feeling I can come up with was how much my heart hurt when I learned of my mother's cancer diagnosis.
I spent yesterday at the hospital because we thought that, with 3 doses of anti-nausea meds and still 3 rounds of vomitting in a day, I might be dehydrated. Come to find out I wasn't dehydrated, but that pain in my abdomen? That's not normal. That's not from all the wrenching of my body as I puke my guts out. No, that's an infection.
And I woke up today with pain in my chest. It hurts to breath and shoots pain up into my right shoulder. Suspicion? Viral infection. (Daddy? Daddy? Is this respiratory ... it hurts so badddd! I'm in tears just writing this.)
And the soonest I can see a friggin' doctor is Wednesday because it's party time in Israel (not that I begrudge them the party). I suppose it's probably like trying to see a doctor in the States sometime in the week between Christmas and New Year's.
When a child puts you this close to the brink, yes, I understand why parents think their children owe them the world and then some.
I know it'll get better. I know I'm just inches away from that happiness that comes with the second trimester. At 12 weeks/3 months, I am just on the cusp of that. But this first trimester sure is going out with a bang.
So there. There's the big, exciting announcement. I apologize if it doesn't quite live up to your expectations. Oh, and that's just the baby's head. If my father is calling the baby 'the prune pit', he's probably got the size about right (about 2 inches/5 centimeters in length).
Comments
To both -- You both look so happy in this picture that it's difficult to see the pain that I'm hearing in your post. Mara. Mara Mara Mara. The only pain I'm in right now is the ache in my cheeks from smiling. And the tears that I've got are the good tears. I am so indescribably unconditionally irrevokably undeniably I'm "out-of-adverbsally" happy for for you.
MARK --- you are, without question, the half that completes the whole of one of the most important people in my life. I love you for that.
MARA --- :D ... I've already tasked my mother with making a blanket. oh my gosh. I am just so happy!!!!!!!
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Crys | October 9, 2006 5:45 PM
Thanks, babe.
Posted by: Mara | October 9, 2006 5:49 PM
CONGRATULATIONS MARA AND MARK!!!!!!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS A MILLION TIMES! THIS IS SUCH WONDERFUL NEWS ... SO HAPPY FOR YOU BOTH!!!!! THERE IS ALWAYS SADNESS IN LIFE .... THERE IS ALSO HAPPINESS ....
LOVE TO YOU BOTH. AND MARA, REMEMBER "HAPPY THOUGHTS" ONLY FROM HERE ON!! :)
Posted by: sahar | October 9, 2006 6:01 PM
maramoosh and mark,
may all your children be so thermal.
LOVE from leila
Posted by: leila | October 9, 2006 6:30 PM
Finally, we can come out of the closet! What a relief. Of course, I have already told a bunch of people, but now I can breathe a sigh of relief that the news is out. Thank you for coming clean. And may you feel much better as the days progress. I hate being sick. It sucks!
Posted by: Ma | October 9, 2006 6:37 PM
Congratulations you two!!! I'm so very happy for you. I'm not happy that you're so sick Mara, but I hope that you're just getting it all done with in the first trimester, and the rest will be easy sailing :)
Posted by: Lindsay | October 9, 2006 8:27 PM
Stephanie, it IS nice to come out of the closet, isn't it??!! Hope you're doing well!
Posted by: Crys | October 9, 2006 9:29 PM
Well, I for one, have never been in a closet to come out of so I am glad all of us are out of the closet now!
Gosh, I feel so much better.
Mara, pain when breathing is always respiratory no matter the cause. Pain often causes difficulty in breathing, rate of breathing and difficulty getting a full breath. If you have an infection and they have prescribed something for it, you should take its full course to protect you and the baby....and keep in touch with your pediatrician as well. Being pregnant puts pressure on your diaphragm(directly above the transverse colon and liver) muscles used for breathing which impinges on your ability to breath as the baby and its surroundings get bigger. Sometimes lying on three pillows with one shoulder out over the other(kind of turned toward the other side) helps relieve some of the pressure. It would be kind of like sitting up at 45 degrees and with the upper body twisted to one side. I am very sorry to hear you have pain. I think pain should not be overlooked, ever.
you have all my sympathy and love my Maramoosh!
Posted by: papa D | October 10, 2006 12:43 AM
Oh yes! Very interesting pictorial posting in surreal dayglo colors of sort of something unrecognizable as most ultrasounds are....
Posted by: papa D | October 10, 2006 12:48 AM
I showed the photo around the office and the consensus is that the baby takes after you, Mara.
Posted by: ma | October 10, 2006 4:29 AM
Uncle Mark and Auntie Mara!
I'm so happy for you guys and God is too and he will pray that your baby will be safe.My family and I hope we see you guys again! And did you know I had a broken arm it hurt really bad.
I fell off the mokeybars at school and I'm only in 2nd grade. But I'm fine now and I got my
cast off too. Just to let you know I typed this all by my self.I'm going to join a spelling bee
when I'm in middel school and go to Washington DC. Thank you and we miss you.
Love,Mlyssa Fojas
P.S.I know how to spell Mississippi really fast.
Posted by: Mlyssa | October 10, 2006 5:03 AM
Mlyssa! We miss you, too! Thank you for the prayers. I promise you'll see us again - soon! I'm sorry you broke your arm. I did that, too once, when I was in middle school. I'm glad you're better and good luck with the spelling bee!
Love, Auntie Mara :-)
Posted by: Mara | October 10, 2006 7:44 AM
Mara,
thank you for giving us permission to congratulate you, it's noble to be able to gobble up everyone elses happiness when you're in that amount of pain, but when one is not in pain, one can only see the bigger picture, you and mark holding your beautiful baby.
Congratulations to both of you! Mara, easier times are just around the corner and we look forward to hopefully seeing you out and about.
Much love
amelia and shingo
(when asked if she has a message shiori said 'aaah'....so we'll count it as a congratulatory remark shall we? :)
Posted by: shingo and amelia | October 10, 2006 9:50 AM
Thank you - thank you everyone. The stabbing pain in my shoulder has greatly subsided (thanks in large part to a heated rice pack applied for about 12 hours straight). And hopefully, the rest will get straightened out with my visit to the doctor tomorrow.
Everybody's overwhelming optimism, love and support helped me get through yesterday.
Posted by: Mara | October 10, 2006 12:13 PM
And is it any small coincident that I started your Mommy Snug yesterday? I think not. I needed permission to get going. No point in making a maternity top for someone who isn't preggers.
And Mylssa is in second grade!??! Wow! Turn around and they're grown!
Posted by: ma | October 10, 2006 4:59 PM
Mark, Mara, congratulations!
I'm so happy to be able to congratulate you in public, and so sad to hear you are in such pain. I hope you feel better soon.
Posted by: Nathan | October 10, 2006 7:18 PM
Oh my Mar Mar!
What spendiferous news!
I'm so sad you're in pain though. I wish I were there to rub your back and pet your hair and yet I imagine if I were I would forget with all the hugging I want to be doing!
Did you know they make mini M&Ms now?
~Valerie
Posted by: valerie | October 11, 2006 1:07 AM
Huzzah!!!!
Posted by: Mendon | October 11, 2006 3:57 AM
Please don't ever call me preggers. Though there may never be a need. Congrats Mara and Mark. I'd love to see a black and white photo too - or do they do the high tech color ones over in Isreal? A co-worker has a high risk pregnancy so they did took fancy pictures. I recall you saying they seem to be very thurough over there.
Posted by: Rachael | October 11, 2006 4:35 AM
I cant imagine the paradox of joy and pain. I do hope you feel better reeeeally soon. Being pregnant deserves a big Wow! Congratulations you two :) Houman and I are very happy for you and send our love to the little 'prune-pit sized' fella.
Posted by: Sahba | October 12, 2006 1:49 PM
Congrats, Mark and Mara! I hope everything gets better soon. It has to end in at least six and a half more months, right? 8-)
Posted by: merseydotes | October 12, 2006 7:10 PM
Oh, Merseydotes, I chuckle and groan all at the same time....
Posted by: Mara | October 12, 2006 10:24 PM
Congrats to both of you - such exciting news!
Posted by: ange | October 15, 2006 6:35 AM
Wowsers - i see that i am a bit behind with the news. Anyways i hope that it only gets better from now on and you get to enjoy some of the feelings of being pregnant! we're thinking of you all.
lots of love,
m
Posted by: Manijeh | October 23, 2006 7:40 PM