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January 6, 2009

I don't need no stinking snow...

The day started as all other days after a restless, dreamy, night. I went to the cemetery to say Mama's favorite prayers. Today was a bit different in a special way as Rae came in from Pittsburgh to be with me for this one year anniversary of Mommy dying. I am glad for her company. And her patience to listen to my babble about many many things(stuff). She read an Alice Walker poem over Mama's grave. I am just plain numb inside. My thoughts are numb, my feelings are numb. I don't know what to do next. So I will do nothing until something comes to mind. I love my kids more than they might like to know. It feels like I have to love them for two now. It feels heavy on my heart after this years pain and sadness. I miss Mommy in ways no words will ever be enough to endear.