Accelerated Adolescence

How to get into your girlfriend's pants=a slow day at college

Nathan, stop reading right now! You probably won't appreciate this: )

Today, Kristen and I were hanging out doing what we usually do, studying. It was great. Kristen was sitting on her bed and I was at her computer and we were each doing our seperate thing. She was reading from her personality psychology book and I was preparing a study guide for my chemistry test on Wednesday.

The beds here are long enough for two people to comfortably sit on the bed while doing work. So, I decided that I wanted to go and sit next to Kristen while we studied. It was a great idea. I picked up my Naked (Tm) Smoothie (a stupidly expensive fruit smoothy) and started to walk to the bed. But, alas, the cap on the smoothy bottle was not on securely enough. To make matters worse, I just happened to be holding the bottle by the cap.

The smoothie fell and, bouncing against my leg, sprayed nutrient enriched fruit juice everywhere. It got on Kristen's bed, Kristen's pants, and Kristen's floor, and Kristen's boyfriend (me). It spilled all down my left pant leg!

Kristen kept her wits about her. She jumped up, took off her pants (fortunately she was wearing two pairs of pants for warmth) grabbed her sheet and threw them in her laundry basket and then demanded that I remove mine. In an instant she was off with our clothing, down to the basement, to save them from the impending raspberry stains.

However, there I was standing all alone, in a shirt and underwear, alone, in Kristen's room. So, what if the room mate comes back?! That would be awkward. For whatever reason I cleaned the spill off of the floor first. then I started searching for something to cover me. First, I see Kristen's fuzzy green blanket and I think, that'll do nicely. But as soon as I wrap it around me I realize that it's been on Kristen's heater containing the exorbitant amount of heat that the spawn of satan radiator gives off. Hopping from the burning sensation I threw the blanket back on the bed.

After some futile searching, Kristen returned and, knowingly, found me a pair of her pants to wear. Alright, I'm six six. Kristen is five eight. I ended up wearing a pair of her black pants. They were a little roomy. I knew that if it rained for forty days and forty nights I wouldn't have to worry about getting the pants wet. Plus, the corresponding shirt that I happened to be wearing turned out to be a little awkward with the pants.

Very interesting. Fortunately, I now have my pants back and they are, as well as Kristen's, unstained. Thankyou for your quick thinking Kristen!

Posted by Mendon at February 26, 2005 7:49 PM