Accelerated Adolescence

REJECTION

Rejection is a funny subject. It can be painful, and often is. However, i'm still emotionally indecisive at the moment. Recently I applied for a position with the housing staff as a resident assistant. I realized, hey, look at my experience, look at my comparative maturity, hey look at how fun and nice and friendly I am, hey look at how responsible I am, I can do this. Apparently, someone thinks that I can't. I'd love to find a way to rationalize this but none of my attempts can be verified and are, thereby, simply coping mechanisms.

Let me tell you a story.

Six people gathered together around a circular table in a large room in the Shriver Student Center at Miami University. There was another group there who was meeting for the same purpose. Each circular table was being observed by seven or eight individuals who were associated, in one form or another, with the housing staff. The groups were given a small task.

A presenter gave the groups a list of fifteen people and everyone had to choose seven of them to begin a new society. The group was hung up on one person. Four people in the group urged for a specific person on the list to be in the group. The other two individuals were appalled and recoiled at the thought of it. The individual was an extremely skilled and talented Neo-Nazi. The two members who were opposed saw the person for the racism. The other four saw the person for the talent. Shelby, a young black woman, was beside herself that these people could allow such a hateful force into the group. The only Baha'i in the group, Mendon, spoke out loudly against the Neo-Nazi. Both individuals heartily agreed that whatever the person's talents, allowing such a negative influence into the group would be detrimental to its development in the long run. The others disagreed. Some comments that were heard were, "well, he's diverse too, should we be tolerant of him," and "shouldn't we respect his diversity and see it as valuable."

As the group was being interviewed after the activity one of the affiliates asked the group, "What about the Neo-Nazi, his perspecitive is diverse? Shouldn't we be tolerant?" Mendon almost exploded. How has our culture, so conservative, become so morally lax, he thought. Perhaps, we've institutionalized racism and thereby use "tolerance" as a means to an end of perpetuating hatred under the cover of diversity. Mendon wanted to ask if it was acceptable to allow a known murderer in the group or a serial rapist and not do anything about because they were being tolerant. Yet, for some reason, he realized that he was talking too much and decided to shut up. Shelby made a stand but they both felt defeated.

After I received my rejection letter, that tried to tell me that the decisions were very difficult to come to, I joked. "I said the words, new, different, unique, diverse, and role-model too many times, I guess."

"That would be once each!"

sigh, thanks for listening to my Requiem for an application. This is the third or fourth time that Miami has rejected me for something that I feel well qualified for. I just need to completely remove any expectation of getting anything from them. we'll see if they give me a diploma when I graduate.

Posted by Mendon at January 29, 2005 11:13 AM