Accelerated Adolescence

Home

As my sister, who has a knack for communing with other people, says, "Happy Birthday Pappa!"

It's funny, I called home today to wish my father a happy birthday because, yes, the Dornbrooks have a cause to celebrate today.

This knack of Rachael's causes her to be able to have a spiritual experience with other people whether or not they realize it. For this reason, I believe she is wonderful with children. For this reason, I think that she occasionally makes adults feel uncomfortable. And, for this reason, I believe that some people, men largely, mistake the spiritual attraction that they have for her for a physical one.

This is also why I believe that Rachael and I have such a strong bond. For the last five years Rae has been my best friend. When she was at Ursuline or Case, and even now, she is the sibling closest to me, physically. I cannot and will not judge my relationships with my siblings in terms of one another.

Rachael has taken me to parties, hung out with me with her friends, covered for me, covered my parking tickets, and been overwhelmingly kind. Now, this may be a function of a guilt complex from when we were younger and she was convinced that she tortured me, but I don't want to think that. Rather, I think that we just got along really well.

Being the youngest I feel distant from all of my older siblings, even Rachael, who is so close to me. I suspect that when I get out of college I'll feel closer to them but, as always, I feel like I've been left behind. But, as Mara and Nathan each went off on their seperate routes Rae and I hung back, and Rachael even stuck around for exactly long enough for me to get on my feet and hit the road. For that I am deeply indebted to her.

But, the purpose of tonights blog is not about Rachael, although, she plays a very important role. If you look at the title, you'll remember that it reads, "Home"

Last May I left home... I left my parents house, which, for the previous eighteen years, was home. I embarked on a journey. This journey took me to Columbus, Ohio, Davison and Flint, Michigan, Washington, DC, The Gambia, back to DC, back to Mentor, to Toledo, ohio and back, and, finally, down to Oxford, Ohio. And, now, here I am, in Oxford my journey's resting point (but certainly not final).

Reflecting on these past sixteen months, which have been quite a trip, I have discovered at least one thing. Every night when I go to sleep there is at least one little prayer that I utter, a plead that has yet to be fulfilled. I have asked, every night, to be able to go home. Untill now, I didn't understand why, when I was sleeping in my bed at Maman and Pappa's, I still supplicated God for that one thing. I think, now, that I have gathered some insight on this matter.

Either that or I've just gathered moss.

Home has become a concept in my mind. It wanders, it no longer has a place value to me. Over the course of the months my image of home has changed. When I made it to Gambia home flashed as the prayer room at Louhelen. And, since then, it has often been of the home of the Arrington's in Gambia. I believe that it is because these images invoke a sense of peace.

However, this cannot be the entirety of why I felt that these places were home. Now, the places that I imagine are the homes of my siblings. Mara's, in Haifa, is probably the strongest location calling to me. But, among them are my parents' home, Rachael's, and Nathan's. Why do I feel so lost without these individuals? For, certainly, I haven't seen three fourths of these places, so it must be the people.

I don't know. I am content, here, in Oxford... here, with Kristen. But Oxford can only content me. Just one loved is not enough. I am not in need of vagrance, I do not have wanderlust, I feel a calling to gather my family about me and to call that home.

Posted by Mendon at September 11, 2004 7:24 PM