Everything, Nothing, and I'm a Middle Child

I don't feel like anything stunning has happened lately, just lots of little things.

I'm hemming curtains for the kitchen in between thoughts.

Our kitchen is now full of our kitchen stuff - stuff we'd totally forgotten we owned (it has been 5 years).

Nathan's wedding is coming together. Good thing, as it is in less than a month now!

I miss my mother a lot. Leroy Seivers died on Friday. He may mean nothing to you, but he had a blog, "My Cancer", on NPR.org, my mother was a regular and that is what got her featured on Ted Koppel's show about Leroy and cancer. It just absolutely tickled her that she was a part of that show. It was a rare happy spot in her final years. Really, really happy. She wore purple for every part of the show (3 parts). Leroy dying means something to me. I can't even tell you what. A closing of a chapter? A reopening of a wound? I can't say. I cried. But on the other hand, it was certainly no surprise. Both he and my mother were supposed to be dead years ago.

I realized the other day that I'm not sure that I have the emotional strength to have any more children without my mother around. Anyone know what I'm talking about? (Ironically, I'm pretty sure my mother would.) I don't know who knows this, but I very much had Liam for her. She certainly knew it. Without that impetus.... it's a much scarier proposition.

On a lighter note, Liam is big into wearing shoes right now and is definitely showing signs of potty-readiness. We'll see. I don't have any expectations. He's also really mastering the sign language. I need to look into more baby signs. I could do random signs, but I realized that if there are books out there on "baby sign", they're probably geared toward the things babies are interested in, which in my mind, simply saves time. Why teach him the word for sunrise if he simply doesn't care right now?

Well, I'm going to go finish these curtains. Cheers... or put a crying baby back to sleep...sigh...

Posted by at 5:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Moved! Moved! Moved!

We're finally back in a space all our own, and boy-howdy does it feel good!

Don't get me wrong, there were very real perks to living with others (free/cheap rent, sharing chores, company, etc...), but it is so nice to bring out our artwork again, and choose our own furniture, and let Liam roam into whatever room he wishes because it's all (fairly) childproof (or will be).

Not to mention the fact that we can walk to just about everything. Everything! Okay, Mark has to bike to work, but groceries, pharmacy, hairdresser, bank, dry cleaners, chiropractor, library, coffeehouse, gelateria, pizzeria, post office, park, pool, second-hand kids ship, second-hand furniture shop, ... yeah, see what I mean?

Feels good.

Today we were introduced to some folks in town from Kenya. It was a nice little slice of what it was like to live at the World Centre.

Oh, and Liam? Has taken to mimicking just about every sound he hears. For example, when Mark carries him, as Mark takes steps Liam says, "boom! boom! boom!" Hahahaha!

I was telling a story about how he got up the stairs and I listened to him running across the kitchen floor, pitter patter, pitter patter, and then running back to the stairs. Next thing I know, Liam is saying, "pitter patter, pitter patter" (sounding a lot like, "batter, batter, batter" in baseball).

Hopefully before too long I'll get around to photos of our little slice of half-a-house.

Posted by at 12:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (14)

Okay, so maybe video isn't coming soon. It'll come eventually, when it's almost irrelevant, I suppose. I've been busy packing, moving, oh! oops! no not moving yet!, planning my brother's wedding, cooing over friends' new babies (yes, multiple friends have new babies), and generally trying not to come undone at the seams.

I was very nearly there. Fortunately, when I texted my bro' Nathan, he had the good intuition to pick up the phone and call me back. I really needed that call. Thanks, Nae.

Today is our 8th anniversary. Funny, but I just sorta' thought, "8 years? That's all?" I mean, I've done a lot since I got married. It just seems a bit amazing that it only took 8 years.

Here's a tally:

Lived on 3 continents. (moved 7 times, this'll be the 8th)
Wrote a master's thesis (got a master's degree).
Lived in Haifa, Israel working at my dream job.
Watched my mother die from cancer.
Gave birth to a son.

Wow, yeah, these have been some weighty years. Last night, Mark said to me, "you should get your PhD." Ha! I think I've had enough weight this decade.

As we're about to move, Mark got permission from our new landlady to move a few items into the house in advance. So, he sent me a menu for a restaurant, got me to tell him what I thought looked good, ordered it, got our dining room set over to the house, and we ate dinner in our new apartment and then walked around the house talking about what we might want to do with each room, how to childproof, stuff like that.

It was very sweet, and helped gel in my mind that it's really happening.

Posted by at 6:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Are these her final moments? She's lucid enough to ask us all not to leave the house... but not much more.

This is how I prefer to remember her. Isn't this a great shot?

Ah, Maman, you know better than anyone how much I love you and don't want you to leave. The hardship is that you're also the best person to understand how hard it is to go forward without your Maman. Well, now you get to be with your Mummy again. I am sure she anxiously awaits you, to share with you the many splendors of the next realm.

p.s. just in case: please no visits, phone calls or food. thanks.

Posted by at 7:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (19)

That's the 'diagnosis'. Two weeks or less. Hospice would be surprised if it's more than two weeks.

Silk - check
Burial ring - check
Casket - check
Burial plot, funeral home - check
Handsome, touching photo - check

Maman still knitting? - check

Yup, she's still knitting. Go figure.

Posted by at 4:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

I haven't really updated about my mother recently, and it is time.

From the top, after Thanksgiving my mother stopped going to work. Physically, she couldn't do it anymore. She called Hospice back in.

She can no longer walk on her own. She is eating very little, and signs of organs failing are beginning to show. We no longer feel like we're crying wolf.

My brothers and I are here with her, and my sister will be joining us shortly. My brother will be getting married, here in her home, in a month. Her goal - at least a few days ago - was to make it to the wedding. It's been a rough few days, though my father said last night was better.

My cousin and his family came out yesterday. His daughter (8 years old) walked up to my mother, put her head on her shoulder and asked my mother how she was. My mother replied, "I am very sick." Isis simply replied, "I miss you" and my mother could feel the girl's tear running down her own cheek. My mother was so touched, feeling that here, finally, was someone who understood.

Thank you for letting me share this with you. Despite the impending grief, there is a peace to this I simply cannot explain.

Posted by at 5:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)

We're back from Chicago. Liam Bean got introduced to another bean, visited with cousins and generally had a good time.

We also got to visit with Grannie Nannie and Goompa for a bit. Thank you to everyone who hosted us! We're home now, and discovering that the Liam Bear should pretty much never be in the car around 5pm. Ever. Ugh.

Posted by at 3:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Yeah, so, my absence is due to the fact that the past 3 weeks have been taken up with packing, moving to the land of the devoted Buckeye and then, heading out to Chicago for a wedding and some good ole' family time. We'll be here for a few more days and then head back to Columbus. Possibly to then head back up to Cleveland to see my parents again, then Mark will start school, and then we'll head out to LA for another wedding. Oh, then we'll head out for another family shindig. I could keep going. Basically, I figure around January we have nothing booked. Seriously.

There are some great pics. Maybe someday I'll get around to posting them.

Posted by at 7:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

I admit it, I'm exhausted. It's allergy season. I've got headaches. We're in the middle of moving. Life in general is tenuous, and it doesn't really matter what I think.

Did I mention that I'm tired? Mark just got Liam to sleep. I'm going to go join him.

Posted by at 9:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Liam is trying something new: sleeping in a bed and not on me. That said, I thought I'd try talking about something other than him.

Uhhhh........

My mother has just returned to work after taking 4 weeks off for her recent surgery. Sigh. I miss having her around all day. We did nothing. Together. It was delicious. Especially the raspberry part.

I even went to book club with her - sort of, turned out we had the wrong date. But we still discussed the books. Made me think of starting a book club once we get to Columbus: the Breastfeeders' Book Club. You know, not much else to do when you're breastfeeding but read.

And this is exactly how long Liam stayed asleep in a bed and not on me.

Posted by at 10:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Is over. Went fairly well. They removed tumor, ovaries, and fallopian tubes. Tumor was malignant, and they did find evidence of disease elsewhere. Makes my stomach hurt, but at least she didn't have to have a bowel resection, right?

Posted by at 4:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

For future reference, Mara, don't try to organize a large party as your mother is going for surgery shortly after you've given birth and just decided to move to another city.

Posted by at 9:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

My mother is having surgery on Thursday. They found a mass that is encompassing both her ovaries. My parents measured a pineapple - it's about that size (yikes!).

We all seem to be handling it pretty well - on the outside. If everyone else is anything like me, our insides are screaming "NOOOO!" We all talked about my mother having a reprieve, and that this might make it even more difficult if/when cancer returns. I suppose we're all holding our breath - super, super hard - hoping that her surgery will come and go and we'll just go back to happy normalcy, and fearing that this is simple futility.

With my schedule (10 hours of nursing, 8 hours of burping/rocking, 6 hours to sleep, eat, shower, etc.) I have A LOT of thinking time - too much, I'd say. I often sit on the couch, nursing Liam, and think (or perhaps "sit stunned" is a better description) "she's 55." You'd think that with all the time we've had since my mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, that I wouldn't be so stunned and so completely confounded by how this became our reality.

I watch my mother holding and enjoying Liam with a certain sadness. I know she's thinking that this is for all the future moments when she won't be able to do this - with Liam or any of her other (hypothetical) grandchildren.

And on that happy note, back to life!

Posted by at 7:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

I have lots of time at night all to myself with not much else to do other than think about what to write about on the blog. But as witty as it seems at 4 a.m., it seems just as tedious now.

I'm on an elimination diet to figure out whether Liam has any food allergies that might cause him to be as cranky as he is. I sort of doubt it, though I've discovered I have a mild allergy to raspberries. Of course, Memorial Day weekend - full with a wedding, a graduation party, birthday party and the requisite BBQ - falls smack dab in the middle of this diet in which I can eat no wheat, dairy, sugar, etc.... I think the only place I feel truly weird is bringing my own food to Nadine's wedding. Can you picture whipping out Tupperware at a formal sit-down dinner banquet? Heheheheh.

Okay, the required photos, before my son dies of (supposed) malnutrition:

Asleep on Daddy

Asleep (and adorable - look at that arm!) on Nannie

Good with Goompah

Cool Cucumber

I love this shot - all cosy with Nannie.

This looks so posed to me! (peaceful, though)

And now you've seen just about every outfit he owns, too, heheheh. [No. That is NOT a plea for clothes. We have plenty, I assure you!]

Posted by at 7:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Everyone gets theirs, no?

Well, my mother's will be shown on Sunday evening at 8pm (at least, Eastern Standard Time) on the Discovery Channel.

Ted Koppel is doing a special entitled "Living with Cancer" and my mother is one of the features! We'll see whether I ended up on the cutting room floor or not (they came out to film her this past winter). There's also a live portion - my parents and my sister will be in the audience of that.

All of this takes place the day after my cousin, Celeste, gets married. We're missing the wedding, and I'm bummed. Best wishes, Celeste! I can't wait to meet your hubby!

Posted by at 4:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Those are all possible titles for this entry. None really capture the essence very well, though.

I really want to emphasize that I had an absolutely marvelous weekend. I did. I swear (see, I told you the titles aren't very good at indicating that). My family (most of it) was together to celebrate Ayyam'i'ha. We had loads of yummy food (bao, best pancakes ever), fun gift-giving, overloaded on Pinky and the Brain and gobs of superb chocolate. We partied with friends. Found out my longest-time friend (how do you say that?) is engaged - yay for her!

Sunday, my sister (with assistance) threw this fine baby of ours an "early birthday party". Wow, Mark and I were overwhelmed by all the love, support and beautiful gifts we received. Thank you to everyone who planned, coordinated, came, partied, gifted and loved. Party-goers each decorated a onesie for the little one to eventually wear. They all seriously rock. There's everything from "I (heart) M & M" to pastoral scenes to Mondrian to storybook classics.

A photo, as promised, of a sampling:

See? I had an awesome, exhausting weekend.

Then came Monday. I had two doctors appointments. An ultrasound, since all previous ultrasounds had been done in Israel, and then on to see my midwife.

Crash.

I've had a pain in my left side for a week now. Figured it was ligaments stretching in combo with the baby kicking that very region, which some of it certainly is. However, it turns out I have a VERY SMALL ovarian cyst. Not quite half a centimeter. But there all the same. "Must be monitored". Of course, I know a thing or two in tumor terminology - that's called "watchful waiting". I ain't, unfortunately, ignorant. Largely, I think I reacted so emotionally to this news because of dealing with my mother's cancer for the last year and a half. It's so likely to be benign it's ridiculous, but it's simply over the top, in my humble opinion.

Oh, and that's not even what the midwife is worried about. No. Not going to even think about it again until after I deliver the baby. Her beef? (pun intended) The baby's too small. I need more protein in my diet. Could be I just need more protein in my diet. Or it could be a problem with the placenta and if that's the case, they may want me to deliver early (as in 38 weeks, not 40 - nothing extreme).

Somehow, something with a clear and obvious solution with very few possible repercussions, such as a baby who is only in the 32nd growth percentile, is much less concerning to me than anything related to cancer, however remotely.

But today is Tuesday. Today we have other things to do. And if the weather is nice to us, we will be able to go hear our friend Dick talk about his recent trip to Ghana, which I am very much looking forward to (BWC peeps - he was part of the crew that visited Haifa after the Black Men's Gathering in Ghana).

Posted by at 5:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

That's how my aunt and uncle, who have lived in Argentina my entire life, have referred to their branch of the family. They are the southern contingency. My uncle has been here for a while to help my grandmother care for my grandfather, and now my aunt is here visiting. Last night was Feast, which Mark and I hosted. After Feast, they hung around until my parents returned from their cancer support group weekly meeting and we took a family photo.

I was all excited thinking I could show Rae that I was wearing the (maternity) corduroy skirt she got me, but it - and my belly - are totally blocked. Oops! Rae, it's so comfy! I love it!

Posted by at 8:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Our shipment from Israel is due to arrive in about an hour.

It's a good thing we've been cleaning out the house, but I still don't know how we're going to fit it in this house. As my mother told the crew from Discovery Channel - the house, the whole house, is 20 by 40 (that's feet). At least it's mostly small items, such as books, blankets, and artwork - no furniture.

30 January. Update: After a day of trying to track down our shipment, it has been revealed that the truck broke down yesterday. We don't know where, but not here that's for sure. I'm a bit irritated that we had to track them down and not vice versa; however, I have to think back to Israel - my point of view if this had happened there, well, probably would have been a ... shall we say, "different". Too bad. I was beginning to have visions of supporting ourselves off the money from the shipping company after their employee ran off with our valuables.

Posted by at 7:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

You'd never know that I was 6 months pregnant and she had cancer, no?

We had our haircut yesterday, so we figured this would be a good opportunity to show the world just how well my mother is doing. For a more in focus photo, check out my mother's blog.

Today is a Baha'i Nineteen Day Feast, which I'm still getting used to again (since they don't happen in Haifa). We're hosting and it's potluck! Yum!

Tomorrow Mark and I will be heading down to Columbus for a New Year's party and to take care of some other business as well. I cannot even begin to express how old all this travelling is getting. Well, I guess I best enjoy it while I can....

Which brings me to my final topic. Pregnancy, I think, is just about the weirdest thing that has, or probably ever will, happen to me. I have another human growing inside of me. Inside. Of Me. It's rather difficult to wrap my head around it - to really convince myself it is for real and happening to me. Not that I ever had difficulty believing it was happening to someone else. Weird. That's as far as I've gotten.

Posted by at 7:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Hmm, appears it's been a while. Well, since Mark arrived, we have spent a lot of time visiting family and friends. And I got a mighty chest cold. Not to mention Christmas.

However, I will mention my birthday. Which was fabulous. My parents, Rachael, Mark and I went out to the Cedar Lee (the art house cinema in the area) in Cleveland to watch Sweet Land. As you may or may not recall, I have wanted to see this movie for about three months, ever since it came to the Haifa Film Festival, which I missed due to some serious nausea.

The movie was absolutely wonderful - so wonderful that every single one of us enjoyed it! I would recommend it to everyone really. REALLY. After the movie we went over to the Mad Greek, which, for some reason, specializes in both Greek and Indian food. Whatever. But it was yummy and fun and we all had a good time.

Finally, my mother just finished knitting me a "Mommy Snug" sweater. She put the buttons on that I chose and then we had a photo party, so go check them out at her blog.

Posted by at 10:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (1)

I'm a big girl now! I'm back out in the 'real world', and I've just celebrated my first holy day in my parents' community - which we hosted. It was a potluck. Here's some of the folks and the mass amounts of food we enjoyed!

Posted by at 4:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

My mother's entry is rather sedate, but we recently learned that she has the genetic marker needed to enter the clinical trial at the National Cancer Institute. Now they will check that her tumor has the same genetic marker and she is also making an appointment to rule out heart disease (indicating she's healthy enough to participate in the trial).

It's advancement and is definitely exciting! (in that roller coaster type of thrilling way)

Posted by Nate at 3:34 PM | Permalink

In one week, I will be back in Ohio.

And you know, nothing says "I'll miss this place" like a cat peeing all over your freshly cleaned laundry.

Posted by at 9:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I had my ultrasound this evening and I got the all clear - no gallstones. (PHEW!)

The technician, who also happened to be pregnant herself, printed this little gem out for us, too. Very kind of her - she tried to look for the sex, but we clearly have a very modest baby :-)

I think the photo is pretty clear, but just in case, the head is facing downward on the left - the baby just looks so cozy, no?

Posted by at 11:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)

Thought it only fair to let you all know I am beginning to turn a corner and feel a bit better. I ate potato latkes last night (and oh my goodness I could eat them all day again today, they were so good!!). Okay, they weren't quite potato latkes - they were a Kazakh variety, but still.

And today I ate cinnamon rolls and had my first cup of tea in 7 weeks!! I know this seems trivial, but it's pretty big to me, seeing as how I unwittingly lost 10 pounds in those same 7 weeks.

Now I patiently (ha!) wait for an ultrasound on my pancreas. Know what? I hate prancrea-i. HATE THEM. Do you hear me?!?! Oops. I guess I'm slipping into my emotional feelings. Didn't mean to do that.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Nash! Nash! Stomp around the room tearing things to pieces!

Posted by at 1:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I realized something recently.

It's been 20 years.

20 years, pretty much to the month, that I met Crystal C. Fortunately for her (and me, really), all my incriminating photos are stashed somewhere back in the States.

We met in 5th grade, and became friends pretty much immediately. We were both outsiders. She'd just moved to the school, and me, I'd been labelled a nerd long ago. Fortunately for me, she was a geek, too. I remember Mrs. Roberts, our 5th grade teacher, praising her for pronouncing difficult words correctly.

She only lived a few streets away (our parents still live in the same houses today). I can't tell you what her phone number is today, but I do still remember her parents' phone number. We often rode our bikes over to each other's home, we had sleep overs, I remember numerous Italian family gatherings at her place (I got a number of lessons on how to spell the difficult Italian last name). We played softball together for years. We sat together on the school bus - usually talking about our braces (seriously).

The first time I kissed a boy was at a Halloween party she held. At 15, when my mother gave me permission to get my ears pierced, it was Crystal who came with us - on Christmas eve no less. And at 17, we both signed release forms swearing we were 18, and shared a second piercing between us (left ear).

It was she and I who slipped down to the Flats one night, in disobedience to my father, and we and our daring selves ate at TGI Friday's there on the riverbank. (I know, big risk takers, heheheh - the Flats is a hot spot for night clubs, etc. in Cleveland and at times has been pretty rough).

In college, after she'd moved to Rhode Island, she would drive the 12 hours out to pick me up, turn around and we'd spend the weekend together in Rhode Island, just to turn back around and drive back to Ohio again. In those brief weekends, I was introduced to many of the wonders of fresh seafood - clam chowder, lobster - and another crazy Italian family (her now in-laws, heheheh).

I flew back from Quebec to be the maid-of-honor at her wedding. She did another crazy driving stint to drive out to Ohio for mine.

And now, 20 years later, what are we talking about? Having babies. We've gone all the way from orthodontia to obstetrics - and pretty much everything in between. Here's to you, Crys.

(and yes, we had the split heart Be/Fri and St/Ends necklaces)

Posted by at 5:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (14)

I was reading a review of Broken Wings, an Israeli film (from 2003) set in Haifa about a family who lost its patriarch (to a non-war related death) and is trying to deal, both individually and collectively. One of the reviewers dismissed it as 'unrealistic' asking: "where are the Palestinians, the bombs and the soldiers?"

Now, I hope that in the past 3 years I've helped those who haven't been to Israel to understand our daily life, the beauty surrounding us, and well, the normalcy of our lives. But that question made me realize that it would be very easy for people to think that all of Israel can be incapsulated in what they see on the news.

And I am aware of how much Haifa has been in the news as of late. But our life is simply not portrayed on the news. My daily concerns involve the fact that I live on the side of a mountain, where everything is either uphill or down; the fact that I live in a climate that includes a summer that is about 3 excrutiating months longer than I care to endure; and the fact that I live a lot further away from family than I care to be anymore.

We're not trimming unpleasant things out of our photos for you, this is our life, in peace-loving Haifa.

Posted by at 11:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

There are photos of Edinburgh, there are photos of London, there are photos of Prague!

Go check out Mark's (and some are mine, too) Fojalicious photos on Flickr! (this is also your friendly neighborhood reminder that he loves comments) :-)

Update! Update! For those seeking a Nathan extravaganza, there is now a veritable cornucopia of Nathan photos over at the Fojalicious Flickr site.

Posted by at 9:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Blarg. Snarg. La. Pfft. Grog.

We're here. We're safe and sound...zzzzzzzzzzzzz...

And I've been reunited with chapstick. Ahhh.

Posted by at 8:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

No. Seriously. We have postponed our flight, again. This time it is because of the situtation in UK (I'm sorry, travel without a book or water? Hmm...). You can get the story at the BBC.

This makes two strikes. The first time we were supposed to fly was 13 July, and now again today. Nathan says "it's like someone is trying to tell you something". Sorry, Nae, either way, I'm pretty sure we're not staying in Scotland forever.

In other news, we took a trip to London recently. We stayed with the lovely Vince and Manijeh, went to Shoghi Effendi's gravesite, the Tate Modern, the National Gallery, Green Park, and, the piece de resistance for me, the Royal Gallery of Art to see an exhibition on Modigliani, whom I loooove. I got home and promptly got super sick with what we suspect was food poisoning, though from what I'm not sure.

An extra super huge thanks to Vince and Manijeh, who not only let us come and stay with them, but allowed us to bring a houseguest (Mel), and when she returned to Glasgow, allowed us to switch in Ksenia. Mel and Ksenia never met, but as I was dropping Mel off at the bus station, Mark waited for Ksenia at the underground (all part of the same station though, heheh). In addition - yes, there's more! - they drove us out to Oxford on Saturday, and we spent a lovely day there as well.

Anywho, I'm recovering. Yesterday we went to see an exhibition by Ron Mueck here in Scotland. Haven't heard of him? Click on the link! Very cool. Then we had a beautiful 'farewell' dinner in the evening, at which loads of fun was had. And well, I guess we can do it again next week - hahahaha!

Once Nathhan downloads the pictures, you will be able to see rapturous pictures of such things as Mark eating a deep-fried Mars bars. No seriously. I'm not kidding. Ugh.

Posted by at 12:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)

Yesterday our adventure (we keep it to one a day - sometimes the 'adventure' is going grocery shopping), was to hike Arthur's Seat.

From Nathan's place, we walked up to the Royal Mile, which in and of itself is worth visiting, so just the pre-walk to Arthur's Seat was quite enjoyable as well. The Royal Mile in the opposite direction leads to the Edinburgh Castle, which again is also definitely worth visiting (but skip that war museum-thing they've got, ick!!).

So we went down the Royal Mile, past the now completed Scottish Parliament, Holyrood Palace (the Queen's residence when she visits Scotland), and then just round the bend is Arthur's Seat. We left after 7 p.m., so we got to Arthur's Seat shortly before 8. We hiked up to the major plateau, had some water, apples, got totally gnat-infested and decided we'd gone far enough, hiked down the other side, and headed home. We got home shortly before 10, had some dinner and crawled to bed!

I included the links for two reasons. The first is that I think all of these places are worth at least seeing, if not visiting. The second is that I was the only one without a camera last night. I bet Melanie will have pictures up shortly, though. (Mark can take a while to fiddle with his photos sometimes, but they willl be beautiful once he does finally put them up on Flickr...)

Posted by at 11:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Well, I have a feeling people may be checking my blog to check that Mark and I are intact, so here's a simple update.

We're fine. In fact, we're doing pretty darn well. We're in Edinburgh, Scotland visiting Nathan. We'll be here another week. It's gorgeous weather, we're being spoiled rotten, and generally not overexerting ourselves.

Today, Nathan's girlfriend, Ingrida, took Mark and me to the weekly farmers' market and then on to a French market that is on this weekend. The French market was, well, like the market I used to go to when I lived in France. We bought loads of fruit, veggies, fresh bread, pain au chocolat, cheese and saucisson - all from Frenchies. I was actually a bit surprised that the vendors were indeed French. I didn't expect that much, so it was handy I knew French :-)

Then we worked our way over to The Meadows, a lovely park, and made and ate our lovely lunch. I know, life is rough. Afterward, we came back to the flat, Mark took a nap and Ingrida and I did mud masks. So girly. So fun (oh, and I told her stories about Nathan as a kid, heeheehee). Now this is what I call a [well deserved, thank you very much] vacation!

Posted by Nate at 10:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (12)

We got our tickets for Scotland - yay! I'm very excited about vacation, clean air and cool temperatures.

We leave Saturday and will be there for two weeks. What are we planning to do, you ask? Nothing. Glorious Nothing.

[well, okay, we do hope to see Liam for a wee bit, but then, Liam's pretty good at doing Nothing himself]

Posted by at 12:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

I'll write more later, but we went to Mitzpe Ramon this weekend. It is the largest crater in Israel. It is in the Negev desert, and it is not from an asteroid.

Fojalicious has a few pictures up.

He also has pictures up from our friend Ania's birthday party, which served as an excellent excuse for Mark to take photos of little tykes. It was in Kiryat Tivon, a suburb if you will, of Haifa. The photos will make the most sense to you if you click on his 'Kiryat Tivon' and 'Mitspe Ramon' slideshows. Make sure to check out Layla Lee's love for water in the Kiryat Tivon series!!!

Edit: Mark has updated his Flickr account and added "Ania Taller" as a set. They are photos that our friend Ania took. That's where you'll find more Kiryat Tivon/Bet Shearim pictures and the Layla Lee water series. Enjoy! [p.s. feel free to comment on his photos - he loves comments!]

Posted by at 12:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Sitting in Israel, as I am, trying to find a simple, basic bread recipe, I want to tear my hair out. Seriously, people, S-I-M-P-L-E and B-A-S-I-C. That does not include evaporated milk, two days, potato flakes or a bread machine. Yeesh.

And seeing as how I'm 7 hours ahead of my mother, I don't think she'd appreciate a phone call at 3 a.m. for a bread recipe. Which is, um, what I'd normally do. She's begged us to look for good recipe software for her before, so here it is - what my research has yielded. Maman, I hope this helps. I can't live without your recipe brain for much longer.

Seeing as how you have an iMac now, your software must be Mac-compatible, so I checked out what people were saying about what was available (MacRumors).

MacGourmet, Cook's Books and Connoisseur all got approvals, in that order. (on Version Tracker (scroll down), there was a review in this order: Connoisseur, Cook's Books and then MacGourmet)

Mastercook and Cookware got big no, no, nos. (I think Mastercook only runs on older Macs, in fact). Cookware got blasted for small font, which I imagine you wouldn't like either.

They can all be downloaded for free in order to test them, but all must eventually be bought for about the price of a cookbook.

Connoisseur is $20 and comes with a mere 50 recipes - 'cause I know you don't want a ton of recipes you'll never use!

A Cook's Books Beta version is $25 and version 1.0 "will cost?" $39.95. Whatever - I think only beta is currently available and people seem to be raving about. It also comes with few recipes.

MacGourmet is $24.95 and comes with ZERO recipes.

They all look to be really good. I think if you demo them all you'll probably discover which one has or does not have the quirks you prefer. Let me know how it goes!

Oh, and remember: the most important feature is being able to share your recipes with your children!!!!!! (I suspect MacGourmet is the least friendly about this, but check for yourself)

Posted by at 11:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)

A Few Things That Have Made Me Happy Today:

1. The raging migraine I've been battling for a week seems to have faded today. I didn't even take my morning dose of 'attack-only' meds. Phew. I thought I was going to have to kill something soon.... (if you haven't had a migraine ever, don't judge me).

2. I cleaned out the bedroom. Of everything. So when the workers come (ahem, ahem!), it is ready to be repaired. And know what? This means I am Wonder Woman. Know why? 'Cause I fit everything - and I mean everything - into our much smaller spare bedroom. And the spare bedroom still has room to move, is orderly and tidy. I previously did not think it possible. Props to Papa for teaching me how to streamline. (unless I'm just mis-remembering)

3. I think we're on a path that may actually lead to the workers coming to our house some time in the foreseeable future. That knowledge alone brings relief to my migraine.

4. I happened on to a blog the other day (via one of the dear hubby's geek blogs, no less), called Inspire Me Thursday. It is two artists, young women about my age (yes, I still consider myself young), who simply offer some creative inspiration once a week to anyone who'd like to participate - no competition, no judges, just sharing art. And know what? It is inspiring! These women are inspiring. Their lives resonate with mine (and they have cute kids). And I am enjoying checking out the artists who have participated. Gets me thinking about my jewelry. I just had to pack it all up (see #2), but I need to think about a direction for my jewelry and this is definitely getting me to think.

Unrelated sidenote: having grown up without red M & M's, I find myself afraid of them - that they'll make me sick, not just 'give me cancer' sick, but migraines, for example. No fear of the other colors, but I leave the red M & M's to the very last and then I only eat them begrudgingly. Heheheh...quirks.

Posted by at 6:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

We're going on pilgrimage! Many of the people joining us (roughly 200) may start traveling today, so our 'trip' will be to head up into the Merkaz (city center), plop ourselves down at a comfy cafe and read, read, read in preparation.

I am sooooo excited to be going on pilgrimage - mainly because it is so very special, but a small part is relieved to have 2 weeks of vacation. We were originally scheduled to leave the Baha'i World Centre now and I think we just really need this break before we dive back in for another year of work here.

A little bit about Baha'i pilgrimage: at its very essential, pilgrimage consists of visiting the Shrine of Baha'u'llah, just outside of Akka, Israel. However, there has developed, over the years, a formal program of pilgrimage which graciously allows us to visit the shrines and other holy places over a period of 9 days with the help of a guide, who may know a few more details than ourselves (hence the reading!). There are a number of guides, so we don't do everything with all 200 other people (i.e. no hoards of people crushing us). The places we are visiting are all associated with the Baha'i Faith due to the banishment of Baha'u'llah from Adrianople (Edirne, Turkey) to the 'prison-city' of Akka as it was at the time. So we will visit the prison as well as the eventual residences that Baha'u'llah lived in during the gradual relaxation of His imprisonment, as well as the Shrine where Baha'u'llah, His Son and His Forerunner are buried - not to mention the site where His wife, daughter, daughter-in-law and other son are also buried - which is on the grounds of our workplace.

Posted by at 8:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

I wandered onto a woman's blog the other day - a woman about my mother's age, with her own gaggle of grown children - and read as she spoke of memories of her children, gardening, the Baha'i Faith and just random moments in life.

Suddenly I found myself feeling all sorts of odd emotions - anger, frustratrion, resentment. I wanted to scream "that's my mother's life!" You know, the one that has been hijacked by cancer. You know, the one we were all enjoying with her. You know, the one we were all taking for granted and didn't know we'd miss so much. Oh, to recapture the feeling that life was simply 'normal'.

I went back to my mother's blog, surfing in different directions and found this gem. In many ways it embodies so much of who my mother is to me.

Now we're in a new place - not completely unrelated to the old place. A bit more tenuous, but then maybe that's just realism that we were all simply ignoring before. My mother's no less alive than she was before - we're just all that much more aware of mortality. Life, life, life. Tricky thing, it is.

[that night I actually dreamt that my mother knew this woman and she threw us all in the car and we drove out to see this woman and her family. when we got there, I thought, "oh! they even know each other!" The woman didn't know we were coming; my mother simply said "I had to get away, so I decided to visit you!" and we all crowded into their house to crash on their living room floor. Huh.]

Posted by at 2:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Kristen & Mendon aren't the only Dornbrooks to go to a wedding last weekend, although Rahmat topped us all by actually getting married (Congrats, cuz!)!

We attended Takhmina and Amir's wedding, and Mark also served as their photographer (ahem, with the help of his skillful and talented wife). Takhmina is from Kazakhstan and Amir is from the Philippines. Both of them were able to have relatives come for the wedding - it was so beautiful and touching to see the families together.

I really love this photo, especially as it's not one you usually see - despite the number of weddings that happen at this locale each year.

Congratulations to two beautiful people! We had a blast (and were exhausted) photographing your wedding! Mark has posted a few more (very touching) photos, so check out the Fojalicious Flickr Fotos to find out which one is his favorite photograph!

Posted by at 12:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

If there was a day I hated our flat, if there was a day I was fed up and just ready to throw in the towel, well, I think it would be today.

Today, we discovered there is mold growing on one of our bedroom walls. We presume this is from when our back room flooded due to the neighbor's boiler exploding (repeatedly). It just so happens that the wall it is growing on is behind cupboards - which is why it took us so long to find. I kept smelling it and thought I just had to keep the windows open and the fan on and everything would air out and be fine. Drr. Summer shoes? Molded. Every last pair. Every last pair!

And this might explain headaches and exhaustion despite increased sleeping (for both of us).

On top of this, we live upstairs from a nasty bulldog we have to bribe with treats in order to get past and I just discovered our neighbor has been helping herself to our calla lilies. I want to scream. I want to go on vacation and have it all gone when I return. I want to change my name and move to Australia.

On the other hand, we spent a beautiful morning with Melanie (and others) for her birthday, got our hair cut, and have just two weeks until pilgrimage. Life is gorgeous...sort of.

Posted by at 6:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)

Ever since Mark and I got word that we would indeed be staying in Haifa for another year, we've been, well, the only way I can really describe it would be 'out-of-sorts'. I'm sure plenty of others have experienced this - a bit of buyers remorse, I suppose. It's not that we have some other fancy plans we've ditched along the way. More that I think we'd just set our minds on "next". I do remember thinking after we found out that of course we were staying - how absurd to think otherwise. It's just, it has somehow sapped our energy a bit.

In any case, in an attempt to abate this a bit, I thought I'd first mention some of the things I miss from "home" [referring to the States, mostly] and then state some of the things I'd miss from "here" [being Israel].

Home:
Okay, let's just get the obvious out of the way: family and friends, yeah, duh!!

The little/silly things:
Pizza - what I'd give for some Adriaticos!!!
My clothes - seriously, I sent so much of it home thinking I wouldn't be here next month!! Agh!!! [believe me, being clothes-less in Israel is serious - yikes!]
A flat surface that lasts more than 50 feet. Living on the side of a mountain can get old.
English-language ... well, I was going to say libraries, but really - English-language anything at this point!!
Central heating - what a luxury!
Our car - sigh...
Snow! I really enjoyed the snow we had while we were home in November. Yay, snow!
My clothes - did I mention my clothes? Lest I forget, my clothes!

Israel:
Again, obvious things first: the Baha'i Shrines and the best freaking work environment with the best co-workers and the best boss I've ever had, and of course, all of the lovely friends I've made here.

The little things:

Admittedly, most days Fresco Pizzeria & Gelataria make up for a lack of Adriaticos (most days)
My dear pharmacist - the only one I've learned Hebrew from!
My view of the bay
An extraordinary community - a real experiment in sustainability
The ability to go to a restaurant and never be distracted by another table's conversation - because I don't understand them! [I found myself very frustrated back in the States! I just wanted to tell everyone to shut up! yikes!]
The continual blossoming of verdure year-round
The fact that everyone is aware of the Baha'i Faith in this country - and in some cases there are discounts just for being a Baha'i! Rock on!
And along that line - the occasional taxi driver who says, "you are Baha'i? I grew up next door to Ruhiyyih Khanum. She told me the history of the Baha'i Faith. You want to hear it?" heeheehee
The olives, loquats, kumquats, mandarins, pomellos, avocadoes...mmmmm
And finally, Fattoush, for without Fattoush I would not have discovered two things:

1. hummus with hot paprika is the best!
2. chocolate ginger rooibos tea is so good I am willing to hunt it down on the Internet, pay a silly price for it and have it shipped to me. Yes, it is that good. Chocolate mint is yummy, too - as is Mexican Winter rooibos, but I digress.

Posted by at 9:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)

The day you forget to put deodorant on - that never turns out to be a good day.

Posted by at 11:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

At 3:55 this morning (I looked at the clock, yes), I woke to the sound of ... my air conditioner turning itself on? What is that noise? Where is it coming from? Are we being gassed? (remember, it was 4 in the morning!) I was freaked out by the noise, and I have to admit to being a bit nervous about opening the windows to find out what was going on. Mark, well, it was 4 in the morning. He didn't even sit up. He figured someone was 'doing some cleaning'. Hey, it was 4 in the morning.

I did open some windows and I could tell it was definitely louder on one side of the house, but since it was definitely external, I let it go at that.

Then, at 5:40 this morning, Mark got up to eat breakfast before the sun came up as he is fasting. He went to get his sweat pants, which were in the back room. And there he was greeted by .... wet sweat pants, not to mention wet carpet, wet wall, wet weight set, etc. We called folks about it. I found the source of the problem - pipe to the hot water heater - and turned off the water main. All good. Problem is, turns out it isn't our hot water heater, or even our water main. Which means we can still take a shower, thankfully, but that we have to find our neighbors so that they can rectify the situation.

Oh, and not to worry, it is not a flood in the sense that things were floating around a seemingly contained back room. There is some damage to the roof/ceiling, I'm sure, but we were able to lay the rug out to dry and mop up most everything else. And hopefully the warm air and sunshine will keep the (rock) wall fairly dry, as there are occasional drips still happening.

Posted by at 7:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Okay, I figure all the essentials know (i.e. our parents), so it's time for my blog to get the update.

Though if you're like everyone else who heard the news, it'll be rather anti-climactic for you. I think it was bigger news to Mark and myself than anyone else.

Mark and I have extended our term of service here in Israel. As of now, we will be here until May 2007 (so you have until then to visit us). Since the big question seems to be about Mark's medical studies: he is gathering the basic A&P, biology, chem & physics books to study for the MCAT, since that's what he'd need to be doing regardless.

Also, we will be going on pilgrimage at Ridvan (the festival in which we celebrate Baha'u'llah's announcement of His claim to be the Messenger of God for this day). We are so, so, so very excited!!!

Tada.

End of blog update.

Posted by at 6:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Amina once told me about her aunt who, after quitting her 3rd job (as in, she was working 3 jobs), her eyesight improved so that she no longer needed glasses and her hair went from gray to black. You read that correctly, gray to black.

I always thought that that was a bit extreme and probably temporary at best.

So, here's what I want to know: did my eyesight really improve? really? I guess I'll find out shortly - when I start wearing my funk fresh new glasses! Can't wait!

Posted by at 6:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I knew it was bound to happen. I was just waiting for it, really.

As staff members of the Baha'i World Centre, we have the special privilege of visiting each Holy Place in Haifa and Akka once in a year. And if you can't make it the day you've scheduled your visit, too bad, no changes made. Considering most Baha'is will only visit these places once in a lifetime, during pilgrimage, that's not too much to ask of us staffers.

And I've visited every holy place now - some several times.

Except, that is, the House of Abdullah Pasha, a residence of Baha'u'llah's family for some time in Akka.

Not once. Every single year something happens to keep me from it.

Year one: a migraine that sent me to the ER (it was stupid - I'll never do that again)

Year two: we were visiting Mark's family in Spain

Year three ... this year: my dear, dear friend Takhmina is getting married. Not only that day, but that hour. Can you believe it? Well, heheh, I can. (Takhmina is the one who taught me the Kazakh waltz that I performed a year or so ago, Kua bol. And no, I didn't misspel