Everything, Nothing, and I'm a Middle Child

My friend, Selvi, compiled these three quotes to read at our friends' wedding last week.

When I heard it, other than the tears streaming down my face - I don't think I've ever been so moved by Baha'u'llah's Writings before - I thought, "gee, I wish I'd had this to read at Mendon and Kristen's wedding!

So, here it is now. The first is from 'Abdu'l-Baha and the second two are from Baha'u'llah:

Praise be to God, those two faithful birds have sought shelter in one nest.

Wherefore, wed Thou in the heaven of Thy mercy these two birds of the nest of Thy love, and make them the means of attracting perpetual grace…

Hear Me, ye mortal birds! In the Rose Garden of changeless splendor a Flower hath begun to bloom, compared to which every other flower is but a thorn, and before the brightness of Whose glory the very essence of beauty must pale and wither. Arise, therefore, and, with the whole enthusiasm of your hearts, with all the eagerness of your souls, the full fervor of your will, and the concentrated efforts of your entire being, strive to attain the paradise of His presence, and endeavor to inhale the fragrance of the incorruptible Flower, to breathe the sweet savors of holiness, and to obtain a portion of this perfume of celestial glory. Whoso followeth this counsel will break his chains asunder, will taste the abandonment of enraptured love, will attain unto his heart's desire, and will surrender his soul into the hands of his Beloved. Bursting through his cage, he will, even as the bird of the spirit, wing his flight to his holy and everlasting nest.

Oh, and this last one really reminded me of the medieval French lit. that I studied in grad school. It made me miss it, too. I really do enjoy medieval literature. In fact, if I was going to get a PhD in French, that's what I'd do. I just can't figure out why I should do that. Also, my perspectives and thoughts on medieval lit. didn't seem to be much appreciated by my professors - that was a bit of a turn off, I must say - though they did say I was a natural at the old French language. To me, medieval French lit. is best consumed while, and the equivalent of, wearing a warm fuzzy sweater under a warm fuzzy blanket and drinking a yummy cup of hot tea.

Wow, talk about a tangent I did not expect to take.

Posted by at 4:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

My office gets as busy as it currently is approximately once every two to three years.

With Mendon and Kristen here with us on their honeymoon, I am:

a) bummed because I'm working 8 - 12 hour days, with no chance of a day off and can therefore spend limited time with them,

b) feeling guilty because if I were able to spend more time with them I could take them around Israel a bit and show them some of the cool stuff that is Israel,

c) holding onto my sanity with a bare thread because the volume of work we have is dizzying! [not to mention, you know, all the stressors that have been dominant within my blog for the past, oh, two months].

That last one isn't related to Kristen and Mendon. I got distracted.

It feels like this is one of those moments when I think, "if I can get through this I can get through anything." The last time I thought that I was writing my master's thesis and studying for my oral and written exams (I hate orals, just so you know, in my opinion they are evil).

I suppose this would be an appropriate time to think that.

Posted by at 9:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

So, as I sat here chatting with my mother, whining endlessly to her about my husband who had seemingly run out on me on my birthday, he was hauling bum to set up a surprise birthday party for me.

Which really was very special. And I really did enjoy it all - the food, the people, the gifts :-)

And I think we have been thoroughly convinced that we never want to do it again. He really did get me. I was had - hook, line and sinker. But you know, the moments before you learn about the surprise, when the world has seemingly forgotten about you, are not fun [and sorry, my emotions are so discombobulated right now, that probably really didn't help my neediness].

We even had some pilgrim friends who were able to come! That was really special!

[Some people even accidentally came to my house as I was whining at my mom - heard me (yikes!) - and were ushered back out to the correct location, without me knowing!!]

Honey, I love you endlessly and forever. Thank you for devoting so much time and energy to the happiness of this day for me.

Posted by at 11:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Hahahaha! What a joke! As if I could possibly care that I am turning 30! When Mark turned 30 we had a pig roast. It was huge - especially as we were also celebrating Mendon's 18th, my grandmother's 80th, Patrick's 39th and Fred's housewarming. Yeah, it was huge and fun (except for the one drinking man who stood as a poster child for why no one should drink, heheheh - and at least he has made for some great stories). So it was huge and it felt right for it to be huge. My dad also told about a big surprise party.

Tonight, 5 of us are going out to our favorite Japanese restaurant. And I have to admit, anything more would overwhelm me to no end. Last night we went to a talk; I think it was the first time I sat down for more than 30 minutes and wasn't busy doing something - charting, planning and organizing everything I had to do. And I realized that I have not pushed myself to the edge, exerting myself so completely - every atom of my being - for a long time. I fell asleep during the talk - now, I don't usually do that. In fact, I went to a performance the night we arrived back in Israel (hello, jet lag) and I didn't fall asleep. I missed the middle, but I must say the end of the talk was quite excellent - and was just what I needed to hear. The speaker was talking about how we are all varying manifestations of the attributes of God. So to know ourselves is an excellent way of knowing God. And to 'polish our mirror' and let the attributes of God that we have the largest measures of reflect out is our contribution to humanity. Well, sorry if that's incoherent, but it fits right into stuff that I'm working on right now and really enhances it. I love it and it gives me impulsion to further my growth, so I ended the evening feeling empowered.

So we went home and watched some Firefly.

Posted by at 11:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

I think it's fair to start a countdown.

Four days.

Four days until I say good-bye to my twenties forever.

Not sure how I feel about that yet. I've certainly seen, done and accomplished much in this decade.

'Til Saturday, I guess!

Posted by at 11:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)

Somethings are just too bizarrely irresistable. Like this. I mean, my immediate reaction was, "you actually take the time to not only do this, but to blog about it, too?" And yet, it's so curious, I felt compelled not only to read on, but to share it with you.

Somehow, I don't think I'll be that sort of mother (no offense to those who are - Lord love you - it just ain't me and I know it).

Posted by at 3:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

a.k.a. My Brief Flirtation With Girliness

Okay, so it's not like this template is inappropriate, there's just about, oh, no aspect of it, that conveys my personality to the reader.

However, I think my mom would like it. Maman, being the knitter that you are, I think you'd like this template. What do you think?

Posted by at 2:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

I don't know about my siblings, but all my life I have keenly felt the absence of my grandmother Mimi - our mother's mother, who passed away at age 56 (right?) after battling breast cancer for 13 years. Oh that my mother may battle her cancer for that long.... Anyway, at a young age I decided that the thing to do would be to grow up and find a cure for cancer. And that's what I told people I wanted to do when I grew up. Then my smart older brother told me that it meant I wanted to be a "molecular biologist". I remember repeating the words, trying to get my mouth around the rather large terms.

I was young - young enough that the course to follow to achieve this goal never entered my thoughts - the sciences, the years of study, etc. By the time it did, my thoughts had gone in a different direction, still linked to my French grandmother - studying French as a way to know her better. It is interesting to me to see how much the one grandparent I've never known in this world has influenced my life.

So much for my childhood dream, though. Talk about missing the boat.

Posted by at 1:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Clue # 547 About How Mara Is Coping

My mother is trying very hard not to die of cancer. That's blunt, but it's reality and we all know it. Now, I'll let you in on a little secret: the next person to offer me the oh-so-not-soothing words of "it's God's will" ... well, I'll let you imagine the consequences. It won't be pretty. Please, think about this comment. You are telling me, essentially, to lay back and not only accept, but expect, my mother to die. In the near future. Ahahaha - no arguing - you are. Yes, you are. If that is how I understand what you are saying, that is what you are conveying, so if you don't want to convey that, choose different words. CHOOSE - DIFFERENT - WORDS. Got it? I know you mean well, but God did not give my mother cancer. It happened. Yes, she has cancer. Is God responsible? No. Hello?!

Thank you and have a nice day. Oh, and if you're interested in discussing something other than my mother's state of well-being, I am available for meals.

[Sorry, I know it was my first day back in the office and things will gradually normalize, but I just wanted to get that off my chest. I do appreciate all of the love and support everyone has offered and continues to offer me. If you want to see a much better example of an "I'm-back-thanks-for-all-the-support-blog", check out Nathan's blog].

Posted by at 12:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Umm, I can't remember which toothbrush is mine.

I should stick to the childhood tradition that everything of mine was blue (toothbrush, towel, napkin ring). Heck, I do like blue.

Posted by at 6:16 PM | Permalink

I got my grandma to grr! I'm so proud. :-)

Here's another fun one we took.

Posted by at 11:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)