Cancer continues to ebb the flow of life......
Every day I come home from some task or work to go onto my computer and look for news from my family. I relish my children's foraging in the e-world to blog their likes, dislikes,opinions, chaotic lives, or simply the annoyances plaguing them.
My personal e-mails, however, never fail to contain an update of who has cancer, or how someone I know is doing in their new therapies after a renewed bout with the ever pressing growth of tumors. I suppose they think I wish to know how their loved one is doing. I am saddened by these news as they only keep me re-living the last days of my own dear wife. The pathways in which someone gets better during a treatment, then falls back as the cancer learns how to renew itself in spite of the chemicals. I cannot tell them how these news affect me. I don't want to seem uncaring. Nor do I want to continue dwelling on my own loss. The pain is a hard one. I do nothing and nothing gets better. Maybe just talking about it will help. Somewhere in the world is a family that has never experienced cancer in their lives. I try to imagine what that is like. I cannot........yet......